Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Should I Marry a Man Living Abroad?

Good morning aunty, thanks for being there always, may God continue to give you the grace and strength to continue the good work you are doing in everyone's life Amen.
Ma please I need your lovely advice on this issue. Please is it advisable to marry someone outside the country with a promise of going back to hustle after the wedding for two years in order to save for business before returning home to his wife? He's based in Dubai and said it's not a place for one to settle down nor a place to raise family.
My fear is not in the two years but what if he did not actually return on time and he said his wife will be pregnant before he takes his leave, that he will spend a month after the wedding. I preferred us to be here and hustle together but he said he can't return home just like that but am scared of raising the kids alone.
(He said he will be coming home once in a year which am not sure of because he left 2013 and came last year December for a purpose) Ma please advice me cos am confused.

Please do not lead yourself into temptation in the name of marriage. Everyone knows his strength and weaknesses and the most dangerous place to test yourself is in marriage.
I may be crude but I wonder how some women cope when their husbands are outside "hustling" for years while the the wives in Nigeria are expected to be perfect unto God and Holy to all.
I wonder how the wife will cope with meeting the daily needs of a curious child and how she will also meet her own needs as a lady, sometimes under the probing eyes of the extended family and the world at large.
My suggestion is always that it's either couples get married and hustle together or he hustles as much as he needs before settling down with his wife but to marry a lady and then leave her to herself is an emotional torture and punishment which is not necessary.
If you are convinced that you can work with his terms and conditions and you will remain faithful, focused and strong emotionally. If you are comfortable with his idea of coming once a year or probably once in three years, then you may go ahead and settle down with him.
But if you know that you cannot cope, and you cannot carry the burden of raising your children alone and keeping your body, soul and spirit for your husband, please it would be wise and sincere to turn down the marriage proposal than to get married to him and suffer in emotional torture and loneliness in your marriage.
So sit down and weigh your options critically to avoid endless and unnecessary stress trying to meet up with the demands of being married to him.


  1. You can't plan your programme for a week & see it 100% executed as planned let alone planning with someone for "Two full years",high risk.Thanks.

  2. Una no dey hear word easily. Truth be told madam, for your sake, don't marry a man living abroad especially if there is no plan for both of you to go together after marriage. You'll only bring yourself suffering and another complain to Mrs. Amara. He has made it clear to you that he isn't coming back till two years time and also wants you to get pregnant before he leaves, meaning you'll raise your child alone. That is slavery for real. It's better you chill for him to do his two years (if you can wait) and come back finally, then the marriage holds.

    You're not just assured of that two years, believe me. For now you think you can cope seeing your husband just once a year but when you're in that marriage you'll realize it won't just be easy. It's better to think deep before going into that kind of marriage.

    Please don't be hoodwinked by the phrase "abroad" because it has really put a lot of women into a regrettable situation. He doesn't come back and that makes me wonder how you even met and fell in love with him in the first place, but that might be true love though but think about what you're trying to do and find out how others who have plied that route are doing right now. Think twice please. Thank you.


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)