Sunday, April 3, 2016

Not Attracted to Him!

Good afternoon ma, I just went through your page and saw the way you are helping people with their relationship issues. Thank you very much and may God be your helper any time you need help.
Please ma, am having a hard time with my relationship. I met my fiance in 2006 when I was 20 and was in my second year in the university. He is four years older than me and one year ahead of me in the same school.
He asked me out and I accepted, though didn't love him but liked some things about him. But I did not have emotions for him. We continued like this till today.
He proposed to me in 2014 and I accepted but still do not love him. I have tried to break the relationship several times but could not because he loves me so much and I always feel pity for him each time I try to do so. His family loves me too and my family accepted him.
I don't know what to do but the truth is that am not happy with the relationship. I feel irritated whenever he touches me. I don't feel anything for him. Please ma I need your help.

Why did you have to push him through this for over ten years now? Why drag your families into this mess when you are not emotionally attracted to him? Why force yourself to love a man who from all you have said, doesn't have any iota of feelings for him? 
It's selfish on your part to have allowed it linger for over ten years, two to four years would have been enough for you to figure out whether you wanted him for life or just wasn't attracted to him. 
Well the bitter truth is that you cannot be happy with him and no matter what you do, you will find yourself depressed and uncomfortable with him. 
You won't enjoy sex with him because, the chemistry isn't just there and you may not be of help to him in any manner, whether spiritually, emotionally or psychologically. 
Please do yourself and your children a huge favour by terminating the relationship and move on with your life. You may ask how you will do that, start by informing your partner of your struggles getting attracted to him, let him have an understanding of what your deepest struggles and challenge have been. 
When it comes to deciding who to get married to, should have some form of attraction to him which uniquely bonds you and your partner and not to be irritated whenever he's close to you or feel pity for him when you ought to feel fulfilled whenever he's around you. 
Save yourself from an impending torture and loneliness you will experience should you continue with this relationship.


  1. You have been managing him all along, probably because you've something you're getting from him in school. And that can only explain why you still stick with him.

    Anyway, its not late to detach yourself from this selfish arrangement of a relationship. Marriage should never be contracted on pity bases. Because it can only get worse, and it will be late then.

  2. Be careful about the time to tell him but ensure you get his forgiveness which may not come easily.

  3. Umu nwanyi...I raise nyash for una o. 10,solid good years? And you have been faking your feelings for him...kai. I don't even know what to tell you. Truly the heart of man is wicked and this man can vouch that you are so madly in love with him.


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