Monday, May 9, 2016

Don't I Deserve to be Loved?

Beautiful day to you, I met this lady in my place of work(bank), she came to my desk sometimes Feb 2015, she was a serving corper then, wow she caught my attention the first day, and I tried enough to take my mind off it, I couldn't help it than to ask her out few weeks later. I was being careful that time not to go into another relationship because I was just recovering from the last heartbreak from my ex which happened four months before this present lady in which she got pregnant for another man.
Now this new lady got a job two months later, she left for her place and myself as well resigned my job a month later because I have to go back to school for my masters, now we operate a long distance relationship, on the long run, she was this type that won't take a decision without letting her foster father(REV ) knows about it, she told him everything before the inception of our relationship.
I was finally introduced to him, I met him in person and this man of God told me she means a lots to him and that he will appreciate I handle her with serious care; the lady is just like the first child to this man, so most time me and him chat and relate like father and son, the connection was so strong that I started feeling at home and that my search is over, he knows much about me and this lady. While I was still running my program in school, he was always at it to ask for my progress in which I appreciate and adore him so much.
October 2015, I visited her family in Lagos, was welcomed and January 2016 I took the bold step of inviting her to introduce her to my family, she was welcomed as well, I did this because I was already seeing heavens with her and I wanted her be my palace Queen. Well few weeks after her visit, she started acting strangely, we argue a lot and fight, though we have been doing that in the past and we get over it always, but this time I can't even figure out the cause of the issue at hand, all I noticed was she was always absent minded on most of the things I told her. It got to a time I was furious on that and I decided not to update her on my life issue because I knew I will still have to relay the information.
Something happened to me in school, I had an issue with one of my lecturers which almost cost my life, I didn't tell her though I told the man of God so that he can help in the place of prayer, later I discover she won't pick my calls, reply my messages, she will receive and read most of my messages, but she won't just return, she was neglecting my mum's calls and she didn't even reach out to my family members has she has been doing in the past, my mum noticed and call my attention, I still cover her up that maybe it's because she is busy at work, so for her not to be painted black to my mother, I quickly call the attention of her foster father to it, so he told her to call mum back which she did and said she was sorry that she was busy when mum called, now the issue has grow worse that the only time she responded to my chat was when she told me to save all my sermons till I find my way down to lagos, due to some unplanned issues and distance I have been unable to go within the last 2months of the wholeproblem, I can only meet with her on weekends because of her office, and most of the time I planned to visit has not been feasible for the man of God of which i insisted I should I want him to be there when I come, I kept on managing this until now that I asked her some questions about us that what is really happening? , what is my offense? etc......, well she didn't want to respond so the man of God asked her to reply mytext, and when she replied she said I should not come to lagos again and she is very busy and occupied, I pleaded with her to at least create a time for us to meet and we can talk better,she said no that I should ask her all I wanted to ask through message, she said I didn't offend her, neither she does, and that I can't be wrong because I am always right, she said so many things went wrong, that am immature emotionally, self centered, faking caring attitude ,that I should be on my own, she don't feel like talking to me any longer became it's a free world,she said she is calling it off and she wish me all the best in life. at first I thought I received a wrong message until I finally realize she meant every bit of that , I rushed back to send her fosterfather(man of God) a message and I told him all what she said, I asked him if he is aware of this because I know she won't take that strong decision without letting him know, I never knew I am not suppose to ask him such, he was furious with me an that am i accusing him of conspiring against me, he said how could he do that and he has been angry with me since last night he didn'trespond to my chat, and I just resolute with him on the issue of me not telling him when the issuestarted, please kindly help me am loosing it all, I would I walk to my parents and family that she said she is no longer interested without any single reason, she has pushed me to stepping onthe man of God's toes, I am not thinking straight again, it's affecting all aspect of my life, in fact friends and family kept on asking me what is wrong with me lately, even if she is calling it off I will at least know where I went wrong.
Please am dying and can't just help myself. Could it be she is seeing another guy out there, if so am sorry I believe ladies are all the same, or is it that I don't deserve to be loved? Is my personality not good enough to handle a woman in my life? Kindly respond with helpful replies.

Please if you are in Nigeria, kindly prepare yourself and meet with your partner so that both of you can sit down and talk about your relationship. 
You cannot remain in one spot and make conclusions, you cannot build a relationship in isolation. Phone calls and social media cannot replace the joy and the beauty of embracing your loved ones, sending gifts and money cannot replace your presence and holding your partner with love. 
You have given so many excuses why you shouldn't go to meet with her, now that she's acting strange, please go and meet with her. 
When both of you are done, proceed to her foster father, apologise and seek for his intervention in this matter. 
It's only when you have made the necessary efforts that I can also come in to intervene. 
If it means taking some time off from work, please do so that we can get to the root of this challenge and address it. 
Be assured that you are a divine project in God's hands and whatever he has ordained will certainly be a reality in your life. 
I share in your pains but I couldn't figure out what your partner isn't saying or what she's expressing with her attitude. 
Kindly discuss with her and keep me posted on this. 
Thank you. 

1 comment:

  1. Aunty Amara is right. This cannot be solved based on assumption, you need to get to the bottom of this.
    I'm sorry, I might be wrong but from your story, I picked out something you said about having an argument around the time she was acting strange. Could you remember the nature of the argument? Did you say something that hurt her deeply in anger? What about the other arguments, is there something in particular that you always say when you are arguing or angry? You mentioned that she text you on one occasion that you didn't do anything wrong because you are always right. There is a spiteful, passively aggressive undertone to that statement that I picked up. You honestly sound like a genuine guy who has a pure heart towards the issue so at the end of the day she's the only one who can tell you what really went wrong. Hopefully you have started solving the issue at this stage but try to study yourself and even ask the opinion of family and close friends about how you handle arguments or if there are any things that you say that are too extreme etc, it might be tough but just see it as self-development.


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