Monday, May 2, 2016

He's so much in a Hurry!

Good day aunty Amara.....I really admire your work in helping relationships. I've been really bothered over an issue and I need some advice.
Early this year I prayed to God for settlement in marriage, for me to meet my own life partner. I'm 22, graduate with a good job. Few days later a guy I met on Facebook asked for my contact and called me. About two days after when we started talking he told me his main agenda is marriage. This is someone I've never chatted with or seen before. We stay in different locations so he came to see me after about two weeks.
At this point he was already talking about meeting my parents and bringing drinks, even up to having wedding and how we will live together and establish a family business together. I told him to slow down that he was being to hasty. He doesn't know anything about me and vice versa. I tried asking him why he thinks I'm his wife and he said he has always told God he wants to marry from our village and I posted a comment making reference to my hometown on Facebook, that was why he picked interest in me.
Now the guy is from my place, educated but into business, 34 years old, appears to be a christian and with very big dreams and all. But physically he doesn't appeal to me, the haste he is displaying is somehow scary and irritating. After a month he gave me a month ultimatum to give him a response which I accepted and I was ready to tell him off. Within the one month he came back to say that I should just take my time to give him an answer which I also accepted.
It's been four months now and I can't identify any feelings of love /attraction towards him. We talk frequently but most times he does most of the talking cos I don't even have anything to talk to him about. He gave me another ultimatum that ends next month and I've decided to let him go. I have prayed in my own capacity for God to show me something if he is the one for me but nothing happened. And also the haste he is displaying is somewhat unnatural to me....
He is insisting that everything must be done this year both traditional and white wedding latest November. He is almost a stranger to me and I don't want to be sucked into his desperation. Please I need your own opinion and advice. Thanks ma.

You prayed for a husband and God sent a man to you and you couldn't even be patient enough to identify who he is, his personality, his personal relationship with God and his vision in life. You totally forgot that when God is involved in any project, that he uses the unconventional and the strange and the unnatural means to fulfil his promises for your life.
He became a total stranger and you were ready to tell him off. Yes you met him on Facebook, don't you know that millions of individuals met their partners on social media? He's so much in a haste that you are already annoyed with him and his intentions, do you know that there are some individuals who dated their partner for three to seven days and they are happily married today?
Of course I won't encourage you to rush into marriage with any man but from the tone of your mail you sound like you forgot that with God, anything is possible and he can use any means to surprise you.
Instead of writing him off at the speed of his intentions and the strange manner in which he has approached you, maybe you should open your heart and be a little patient with him.
Maybe when you open your heart to him, you may understand more about his personality and his vision in life. Maybe when you give him some time and ask him some vital questions, you may discern his personal relationship with God and his ministry in life. Maybe if you forget about the means in which you met him and focus on the man who has declared his intentions to you, you may have a better insight and hear from God whether he's the one for your life or not.
Instead of pushing him away, make enquiries, coming from your community makes it easier for you to do a background research and know more about him and his family. If after all your enquiries and friendship with him, you are not attracted to him or connected to him and you're convinced that he's definitely not the one for your life, kindly let him know and encourage him to move on with his life.
Please you need to humble yourself, and allow the Holy spirit to guide you. You need to understand that the outlook of an individual is the least thing to consider when deciding on who to settle down with for the rest of your life because it fades away with time but a beautiful heart and a heart that desires to please God is priceless.


  1. Leave an open mind as aunty Amara said. I met my husband to be and he proposed just within few months, because I left an open mind, it seems like we've known forever, people get surprised to hear we haven't been together for so long. He may or may not be ur husband but try to get to Know him and make sure u don't compromise ur virtue lest you get confused.

  2. All you need to do is open up your mind and allow him to prove himself, it doesn't matter how many years you know each other. What matters is the sincerity of him becoming wanting to get married to you. Give him chance, opportunities they talk about is one like this.

  3. Like Aunty Amara said,its easier to know him cos you guys are from same community.
    You want to date like forever before you are convinced? My dear,dont continue with these your system and miss your mark.

  4. I dont know how ppl marry in just a few days of knowing eachoda n it works perfectly. For does dat bliv in it n it works gud gud for dem. Personally i believe in marrying ur friend, if he feels like a stranger to u cos of his hasty wants for marriage my dear dont succumb to it. Taking time to know him n letting ur affection grow isnt waiting forever, it means ur wise to be convinced b4 stepping into a life time comnitment. U must play ur card right, marriage is not an opportunity d way i c it, i bliv u work towards it mentally, emotionally n financially. Weda his from ur village dosnt mean tinx cant go wrong, he said said wot he wants which is a womn from his village, if dats his only criteria for a wife dats his , make up ur own criteria n if he fits in beautiful. If he dosnt fit talk to him politely in ways he will understand. Dnt let anyone pressure u. My God dosnt answer or work under pressure. He takes his time n His times r right n dosnt take forever, do d same.


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