Wednesday, May 18, 2016

How Do I Meet my Kind of Man?

Good evening Aunty Amara,
I am a good follower of your counseling blog, though I rarely comment but I enjoy the bitter truth you dish out to people, God bless you. I have a little thing worrying me, I'm in my late twenties and ripe for marriage but nothing seems to be coming forth. I don't think of it before but lately it started bothering me. For now, I have a good job and am financially stable but whenever a young man approaches me, only what they look out for is SEX FIRST.
Met a young guy with good vision via Facebook and we have been talking on phone because he is based in Europe with a good job but all he ask for is phone sex, sex, sex. I don't know how to get my kind of man, because what trip ladies don't move me.
Has it become a norm? Is this how our young ladies get hooked up by giving sex first? Please ma, what can I do to get my kind of man or am I being too rigid? I am someone who loves success and don't want a low life husband that will draw my success nor vision backward, I need someone who likes what I like and have same dream of rising to the top. Please ma, assist me, how can I find that person or what do I need to do that I haven't been doing??

Thank God for your success and achievements in life, it's worth commending that you have invested so much to grow and develop yourself and God has blessed you with opportunities that has exposed your talent, virtues and skills as an individual.
However, success has its own limitations because most individuals who feel that they're successful do not feel that those who have not attained to their own level of success, should have any reason to associate with them.
One of the limitations of success is that it makes some individuals feel on top of their own and as such have no need or purpose to relate with those who have not attained the specific height that you feel is a good success.
Like you might have observed, success doesn't mean the same thing to everyone and it has no specific definition. To some, being able provide three square meals in a day is success, for some, being able to save the little token that they earn from their products is success and for some, being able to manage the little that God has blessed them with is success.
When it comes to relationship and marriage, every individual desires to marry a partner that is fairly successful in managing himself or herself but one of the most important virtue that every partner craves for in a partner is not sex but a human feeling, a humane heart, a caring attitude, a helpful individual, someone who is willing to listen, encourage and support someone else, someone who shares in the journey of others, someone who is not too arrogant as a result of his or her achievements and someone who has the heart to nurture and bring out the best in others.
I know that being successful comes with huge responsibilities but please endeavour to make your life affect the life of another no matter how "low" you feel that their lives has been.
This is why we have the church, the motherless homes, the prison and the likes, to give us the privilege to interact with those who may not have been privileged as you were, to let part of your journey bless them no matter how little it might be.
Join humanitarian clubs, groups, church units, inspiration groups or any other groups that adds value to the society. The purpose behind this is to enable you be humble and grateful even in your success. Sometimes ladies might miss their husbands because of their perception of some men who came for a relationship, some do miss their husband because they never came close enough to make any man desire to be with them.
And one of the greatest benefits of selfless service and devotion is that God showers you with favour in the eyes of anyone who meet you and at the same time promotes you in the heart of many.
Doing good will definitely attract many suitors to you but understanding what you need, your purpose in life and your vision in life will help you decide who will help you accomplish your purpose in life.


  1. God bless Sister Amara for that wonderful and wise response to her. No human being is a low life, and no one should call his/her fellow human being a low life. She really needs to be humble or else she'll make a huge mistake in marriage. God bless you sister Amara, and continue to equip you with more wisdom in Jesus mighty name. Amen

  2. A few years ago. A man my sister could've married but considered to be a low life later became a multi millionaire, married with kids now and she's yet to find a man. Do well to absord Anty amaras words and strive to see the beauty in people regardless of how they presented themselves


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