Wednesday, May 18, 2016

I Find it Hard to Forgive!

Good morning ma, I have been a fan of your page for a very long time and do see the wonderful things you do for people, God bless you richly ma'am. Ma please I have an issue, I have read books and talked to people but still have got little or no help. My boyfriend cheated on me last year and though he is a changed man now but the fact remains that I don't trust him. I always find it hard to forgive people once I have been hurt, I am yet to even forgive my ex for hurting me and I feel bad cos it makes me suspect his moves and all.
He is very open and tells me things but I still have this feeling of doubt, fear, anger and mistrust towards him. I sincerely want to forgive and trust him ma cos we are pretty serious and God help us, I might end up with him some day but he always communicates with his exes and I don't feel comfortable with it at all. I feel once you are in a new relationship, your exes should be given space but he thinks differently, I just want to forgive him and trust him as regard women, exes or not.

When you make your heart a reservoir for all the errors, weaknesses and the shortcomings of humanity, you will be setting yourself up for destruction because unforgiving spirit is actually harmful to your health and happiness as an individual.
When you don't forgive, you don't experience the peace of mind, the joy of living and the privilege of learning from life. When you don't let go of the hurts of your ex, you will always be in pains and will never heal which will indirectly affect your perception of every other thing whether positive or negative.
Do we have reasons to feel bad, get mad, be offended and annoyed by what an individual or a partner did to hurt, humiliate and offend us? Yes but should we carry this pains and hurt for the rest of our lives? Nope.
Forgiveness is what every soul crave for on a daily basis and forgiveness is the greatest demand from every humanity because as long as we are here on earth, we are prone to errors and everyone at one point or the other has offended someone.
Seek the face of God and ask for the grace to forgive, for the grace to let go, for the grace to heal and for the grace to always remember that your unforgiving spirit will never work out anything good in your life nor will it help the person who offended you to amend his or her ways.
When you have overcome the unforgiving spirit, you will be in a better position to decide when to forgive and forget or forgive and move on with your life.
As regarding your relationship, it's healthier and safer for anyone who is in a relationship to cut off if possible all his intimate relationship with his or her ex so that the new partners will have more opportunity to integrate into each other and understand their personalities and individualities. It's a huge source of distraction for an ex to always interfere in a relationship or for the partner to directly or indirectly make reference or comparison with the ex in the course of the relationship.
If you are not comfortable with his constant communication with his exes and you have discussed this with him, yet he refused to make amends, kindly give him some space and time and allow him to decide whether to continue with the relationship with you or to go back to his ex.
It's awesome that he's open but it's not enough for him to be open after he disappointed you by cheating on you, we need to separate the yam from the goat consciously to help you understand him better and decide if he's truly what you desire in your husband.
But don't forget to forgive him and instead of bearing grudges and mistrust against him, choose to pray for him and encourage him and allow God to perfect the relationship.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks very much MA may God continue to refill your jar of wisdomwisdom. Always knew someone would say something that hits home for me.


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)