Friday, May 13, 2016

I'm Scared of Believing Him!

I have been with this guy for over two years, he wasn't my first love but I can say that since I met him, I just lost all interest on other guys. The problem now is that since we started dating, there has always been an issue of his exes. I know two of them perfectly well, but he always tell me there is nothing going on between them. He has come to my family with his mum and I know his family very well. He is considered a part of my family.
I'm confused right now cause last year one of the two girls came back from Malaysia and he sent me a text asking me to stop calling him. I confronted him and he calmed my fears that it was a joke. Unfortunately sometime in January, I was in their house helping the mum when this girl in question came and I seized the opportunity and asked him what was in his mind. He told me he wanted the other girl, C*** by name. I never questioned him but wished them good luck. He came back apologising to me that he just said that to make her happy since she wasn't in the country. My sister-in-law asked me to forgive him one last time..
Secondly, the issue of his main ex, people say they are related and can't get married, but he is still seeing her, last week an issue arose and he told me it was the girl that told him. I called the girl on phone and she denied and said she will call my guy and get back to me, around 8, I called him but he didn't pick, about five minutes later the girl called me back that she was with him, so I should ask him if she was really the one that told him that.
Aunty, to my greatest surprise, he said he never told me it was her. I was angry and decided to end things with him, but now he is still begging me that I'm the one he wants to marry. I'm scared of believing him again, scared that even if we get married, all these things will continue. But he is assuring me that it won't. I really love him, I have tried many times to meet other people, but they are always asking for one thing or the other. I don't know if it's my imagination.

I feel it's your imagination really and you need to understand some basic facts about relationship to help you decide what to do with your current relationship. 
There are men who will tell you that they're single but they're emotionally not available for a relationship. 
And your partner falls into the category of men who are emotionally unavailable for the kind of commitment and devotion that you crave for in a relationship. 
Their action isn't consistent with their words, they most times wish to please every partner in their life but fail to decide what they really want and who they wish to continue with. They sometimes hide under the guise that they don't want to hurt one lady or another and at the same time continue to waste your time. 
No matter what you feel for him, you must realise that he cannot be trusted nor has he made any form of commitment to the relationship. Though he has brought you to his village meeting, that doesn't mean that he will end up with you. 
The best thing to do is terminate the relationship and give him space so that he can sort himself out and decide on what he want in a lady and who has the attributes he desire in his wife. Hanging around him will only make him to toil with your emotions, give so many excuses for his lies and at the same time deny you to protect another lady or deny another lady to deceive you. 
You need a man who is emotionally available for a purposeful relationship and not a player with so many fake promises.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I am so upset with u for even asking Amara first.
    Biko take a 'run' not even a walk.
    U have not known him from birth so u can live happily without him.
    He is not worth this emotional torture!!!

  3. My dear the answer to you question you know already. My own is you r afraid of leaving him but you got to be strong because it's for ur peace of mind

  4. Leave! Run and don't look back!!
    You deserve better. Block his number if needs be. Forgive him though and move on... Don't remain in that relationship that could cause you to sin


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