Friday, May 13, 2016

Where am I Getting it Wrong?

Good evening Mrs Van-Lare
I have being battling with relationship issues for quite sometime now. I fell in love with a man who lied to me right from day one. I loved him unconditionally. Along the line, I found out that he has a daughter, a baby mama living with him. Unfortunately I took in the very first time we had sex and that was the day he took my virginity.
Fast forward to the pregnancy saga, he abandoned me to my fate. I had no choice but to abort my two weeks old child. A part of me died the day I did the abortion.
I hated men. Eight months later, a friend hooked me up again with this guy. We started getting along, at first I tried to keep it platonic, but alas I saw myself falling in love again. I resolved within me to bury the hate and love again.
He got admission to do his Msc abroad, four months after he travelled, things sort of changed. He told me to move on with my life. I really felt bad, it wasn't easy for me. Later I met another guy, he is my head of department in my office, we started getting along but all he wanted was sex. I tried to start something with him, but he just was after sex, and I still love my ex. Like every event reminds me of him.
Ma'am all I want is true commitment, but the men that come my way don't need that. I want a true unconditional love, ma'am, am not the demanding type. I was taught at an early age to work for my own money. Even as a student I cater for myself. Am compassionate, smart and fun to be with. Yet I can't get the man that will love me truly. Please where am I getting it wrong. I feel so sad.

You don't need a man to be complete in yourself, you are already complete in God. You don't need a man to discover your purpose, passion and personality as an individual.
Sometimes when you are lost in yourself and in your personality or identity you find yourself attracting the wrong kind of men and struggling to experience genuine relationship that will compliment and add value to your life.
What I feel that you should do is surrender to God and allow him to bless you with His own kind of man and not your own kind of man.
Let your passion possess you and don't reduce yourself to some men whose intentions is only to have sex and leave you. You may also decide not to open your legs for any man if you are emotionally not prepared and ready to take the responsibilities that comes with sexual intimacy.
Hold unto God, engage yourself in a productive, and positive venture and be patient with yourself while you pray for your own husband.
There's nothing wrong with desiring your own husband but one favour you must do for yourself is not to reduce your value and virtues to keep a man or to win the heart of any kind of man but to seek the face of God daily and allow him to give you a husband that will be a blessing to your life and destiny.


  1. kai, Anty Amara, this is more than a motherly advice, am so happy about this ur advice, u actually said it all, waiting on God, that is just it.thank u very much

  2. This is a testimony that i will tell to every one to hear. i have been married 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until i met a post where this man DR GREAT ( have helped someone and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover back home and believe me i just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids asking for forgiveness and that is why i am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self without any delay, His email: (


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