Friday, May 6, 2016

I'm Too Young for Marriage!

Please ma, I am really bothered about this situation going on in my life presently.
Am 20 years of age,100level student in one of the well known universities in Nigeria.
The issue here is that I've been dating this guy for a year now before I got admission and he is talking about marriage which I've told him that in my final year we will tie the knot, but he is pretty serious.. This guy am talking about is a lawyer.
Ma, please advice me on what to do, I've tried convincing him but doesn't want to listen to me... Right now, the mom called and told me that they are coming to see my parents before the year runs out... I think am too young for all this. Am confused!

If he's not willing to give you some time to stabilise in school and at least prepare yourself emotionally and mentally for marriage, kindly disassociate yourself from their plans.
You don't need a partner who is there to pressurise you and push his way through because he's in love with you, I feel that both of you should sit down, have a heart to heart discussion about the future of your studies and the relationship.
What's his plans for your studies, how does he hope to encourage you while you are married to him? What provisions has he made for your future and what are his plans and vision for the marriage?
If he insist on getting married to you this year, what happens if children starts coming, will you live in his house and attend lectures from home or will he permit you to stay within the school environment and then go back home every weekend?
If the duration of your programme be four years for example, and he's not comfortable with your idea for him to wait until you're in your final year before getting married to him, can he not wait for you to get to 200L or 300L before getting married to you?
In as much as I will say that you're not too young to plan your future and marriage, I feel that he needs to be a little more patient and tolerating with you so that you can focus on your studies and at the same time equip yourself with the necessary virtues and wisdom that you need to excel in your marriage.
He needs to give you some time and allow you to grow emotionally, psychologically and spiritually so that he doesn't end up complaining so much of your weaknesses and inadequacy as a result of his pressure on you.
Kindly talk to him about it and plead with him to give you some time, two years or three years will be enough for you to think things through and plan your life. If he's not willing to give you some time and he feels that now is the best time to get married, and you are deeply convinced that you are not emotionally prepared for marriage now, kindly let him go and move on with your life.
Marriage is deeper than dating and it demands so much from each partner so if your mind is not in your marriage, it's as good as you are single living with a partner.

1 comment:

  1. What a lovely response. Ma well done. Keep up the good work.


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