Wednesday, May 4, 2016

My Heart is no longer with Him!

Good afternoon AVL. Thank you for your counseling and saving people's relationships, may God bless you. Please ma am in my mid 20's in a relationship with a guy though he is based abroad. Recently he just stopped calling but chats me on Facebook or maybe calls me through it. When I complained to him, he told me that he had issues with his line and will get another line by the month end.
My problem now is that this guy is the type that can keep things happening to him to himself and won't tell you what is happening, also ever since I knew him he has never sent me money though I have never asked cos I really find it difficult asking people for money, but I think a man is supposed to know that he should give his woman something once in a while.
My problem now is that he said he is coming back soon to come and see my parent but sincerely speaking, am not so interested him anymore cos the communication is kind of bad and am not someone who is so much interested in marrying and living abroad and am kind of falling in love with a friend who has been asking me out since and is planning on coming to see my people but I have been dodging him cos am really confused.
I don't just know what to do because the abroad guy wouldn't just hear that am no more interested, moreso he is the type that can ask you for forgiveness till you wouldn't have any option than to forgive and can go to the extent of involving people to ask me for forgiveness. He is my specs in a man but my heart is no more with him cos of the communication gap. I have known him for less than a year.
Ma please just tell me how to sought this out cos am seriously trapped. Thank you.

Never knew that men have specs but thanks for informing me.. Lol
I feel that you are the person who is unstable and a bit confused and complex. Your mail reek of insensitivity and no commitment to build a relationship that will stand the test of time.
That a man is living abroad doesn't mean that he's automatically rich and have so much money to spend or share. Depending on how he got there and the purpose for going there, he needs some time to settle down, organise himself, and build up a future for himself. Some individuals do so many shift jobs to enable them pay their bills and meet up with their responsibilities in life.
It's not just as rosy as it feels whenever you hear that someone is abroad. So maybe you should have approached him with understanding and find out how he's coping and not conclude without making any efforts to know what he's going through or what he's experiencing there.
For example, making calls or receiving calls from one country to another country attracts heavy charges which if he's not buoyant enough, he can't afford them. So living abroad doesn't mean that he's already sleeping with dollars and pounds sterling.
When you noticed the communication gap, what did you do to strengthen the relationship, why rush into another one when you could work on the one you were already in?
I feel that you could have given your relationship some time and know his plans and vision for the relationship at least before deciding whether to terminate the relationship or be patient with him.
Since he's your spec the man you desire to settle down with, why consider another person or rush into someone who you can't tell how compatible and adaptable he is to your personality.
I feel that if you don't organise your life and take your time to plan your future, you may end up with regret out of desperation.


  1. Well said..lady u are confused and from the luk of things u are the one who isn't giving ur head a rest ova dis issue.why start a new r.ship wen u hvnt ended the previous one.

  2. Well said..lady u are confused and from the luk of things u are the one who isn't giving ur head a rest ova dis issue.why start a new r.ship wen u hvnt ended the previous one.


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