Friday, May 27, 2016

My Parents want me to marry from my Home town!

Good afternoon aunty Amara, you are indeed God's blessing to this generation and I pray God to continually bless and grant you wisdom in all you do. Please I am currently heavy hearted and need you to help out on this issue with my parents.
I am young girl of 24 years, who is a graduate and currently seeking for job, I also happen to be the first child and daughter of my family from Delta state. I have a man who I have been dating for three months now, though have known him as a casual friend for two years. He wants to take the relationship to the next level by coming to see my parents and do all the marriage rites but the problem is that my parents doesn't want me to marry anyone outside my hometown.
The man is also an Igbo speaking Deltan like me but totally from a different local government. I really love this guy and wish to end up with him but my parents have refused to change their minds about their decision and this is giving me a big concern.
My parents don't even know the man in anyway, all they want is that my husband comes from my hometown or never. Please help me out, what am I to do? I have lived in Lagos almost throughout my life except for my university days and I haven't come across any one from my local government to take as a friend, how much more going into a love life with the person.
I am so confused, how do I handle the situation without dissapointing them and have their consent for me to marry the man I love and not their choice?

Don't be confused or be afraid because of the opinions of your parents concerning your partner. It is not your parents that will decide who you will end up with because even your parents have no idea who God has prepared for your journey nor can they push you into getting married to a man who is never your husband.
Give them the respect and the appreciation that they deserve but do not consent to getting married to a man from his community when you are not convinced that your husband is in your village.
Engage your pastor, elder, uncle or elderly individuals who your parents will definitely listen to and respect and someone who will talk to your parents with all sincerity and honesty without being biased or economical with the truth.
Stand on your ground, pray and entrust everything to God, be patient with your family and continually remind them of your convictions and your assurance in getting married to a man who genuinely loves you and is willing to grow in love with you for the rest of your life.
They may not be happy with your decision but with dialogue, communication, prayers, and persistence, you shall overcome. Begin by getting close to your mother and asking her why she's working hard to make your marriage a miserable one for you, talk to her like a daughter who is in distress, remind her of what true love is, how God allowed her to marry the man of her choice, and how happy you will be to marry your best friend and companion.
Let her know your worries and fears with their choice of partner and let her know that you will choose to wait than get married to the wrong person. She will definitely listen to your plea and will not forsake you.
Be calm, be humble and continue to let her know of your decision until they've given you a go ahead in your relationship.

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