Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Should I Walk Away or be Patient?

Good morning Aunty Amara, please I need your advice. Am 25 years old dating a guy 34, though we planned to end well, our relationship from the beginning have had issues of sex or no sex but finally I had to give up on no sex.
Actually he is my first love and I have grown to love and respect this guy so much, most time when we have issue even when he is at fault, I am the one to apologize. When we quarrel for long he comes back to ask me if am still interested to continue with the relationship, he gets angry with every little thing.
This made me to call him one day and I told him that I am not perfect and that he is more mature than me, that he should see most of my actions as a little girl's behavior and try to neglect them so that we will not keep on quarrelling.
Ma am not trying to say that in most issues that we have had, that I am innocent but in all, the word SORRY never depart from my mouth, but even at that he takes time to forgive me. The one that pisses me off most times is that he still holds back the experience he has encountered from his past relationships and it is affecting ours. When I ask him, he simply tell me Akpusi gba otule (when the ant bites the butts)even though I have told him not to suffer me or our relationship because of his previous bad experience ,that I myself have had a bad relationship but it never stopped me from picking up and giving him a chance, but all his action and behaviour still center on his past experience.
Recently we had this issue that lasted a week even though I have apologized, in the course of trying to talk the issue out, he told me that he was able to pull through with the issue because he conditioned his heart that I don't exist to him, this word really broke my heart, because I don't see the reason why i will be working for a better relationship and somebody is busy conditioning his heart that I never existed and these words had continued to ring in my heart.
I don't really know what to do, if I should just walk away, or still have patient for him

The door has long been open, you only chose not to embrace the realities of your partner and save yourself from the constant emotional torture and loneliness you are experiencing in your relationship. 
Your partner has so many emotional baggage which has hindered your efforts and sacrifices to make the relationship work. 
He's using you to get over his past relationship because for him, there's no need to commit himself to the relationship when you are all over him showering all your love to him. 
He's experimenting with your heart, no need to give anything, no need to acknowledge his shortcomings because he's indifferent about whatever happens to the relationship and you, I mean your legs are wide open so what else will he lose if you leave him. 
Your own undoing was thinking that your love for him was enough to sustain the relationship, on the contrary this man is simply destroying every fabric of respect, confidence, and pride in you and you can see how relaxed and comfortable he is whenever both of you have any misunderstanding or challenges. 
So please help yourself beautiful lady, wake up from this nightmare on a hot sun (seriously lol), walk out from this daylight embarrassment, he's not doing you any favour loving you so if he's still getting wise from his previous relationships, you shouldn't be the tool for his experiment. 
Never you directly or indirectly beg anyone for love, that is not what love is all about, what you will attract is pity and frustration. 
He doesn't forgive you, he gives you excuses like a wounded lion, he always see your faults and constantly blame you for everything that happens to him, and to crown it all, you even don't exist, biko what other signs do you need to believe that you're romancing dirty object? 


  1. I totally agree with Aunty Amara. I'm glad you asked for an objective view on this because sometimes when you're the one inside the situation you might think it's all in your head. And no, it's not all in your head. The man seems like he's clearly taking you for granted and he doesn't seem serious about you. A better more deserving man who will honour you, respect you, protect you, appreciate your love and efforts and fears and loves God is who is better for you.

  2. Nne why the question?
    WALK NAH!!!


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