Wednesday, June 8, 2016

He Flirts with Ladies!

Hello ma,

Thank you for healing the broken hearted with your words of advice and the prayers of your heart. I'm in dire need of someone to talk to for advice.

My boyfriend of more than three years has turned into something else. Maybe I never noticed this attitude of his, maybe I did. I don't really know.

He chats with lot of ladies these days and he deletes the chats immediately. I'm going crazy and dying in silence. The last time he saw me delete my chats, he got angry but didn't want to show it. I purposely did that in his presence because I wanted to know how he will feel and also wanted him to know how it feels. The chat was just ladies' chat.

One of the few times I saw his chat with a lady, she was sick and he was asking her what to bring for her and she said he should bring that thing between his legs as she wants to hold it and play with it. She didn't mention what the name is and after my boyfriend asked and asked pretending not to know what the lady was talking about, she mentioned that it's his penis and my boyfriend asked if she likes it, she said yes. After sometimes, like two to three months, I noticed he has deleted the lady from his friends' list.

Just few days ago he saw that there's this guy I chat with most of the times, he already checked the guy out on my Facebook account to know who he is (I don't have anything with this guy). I also made sure that any new male friend I make, he (boyfriend) knows about him (I jokingly chip stuff about the new friend during our discussions) and if the new friend ask of my relationship status, I tell him I'm in a relationship.

Please what do I do? Talk to him? And tell him I notice he deletes his chat? That means I go through his phone which is not proper. I need your advice, please ma.

Thank you

If you are afraid to express your feelings and views about his infidelity and insensitive attitude towards you, how will you cope if you are married to him? 
When you are in a relationship with your partner, you become part of his journey, and that means that his attitude directly or indirectly affects your mood and your attitude to him. 
By the virtue of the relationship, he's accountable to you on who he relates with, his intentions for such relationship and the purpose of such relationship.
By the virtue of your relationship with him, you have the privilege to know more about his personality, his friends and his vision, which most of his friends are not privileged to know.
So open up and talk about your observations towards others and ladies in particular, mention what you read and demand for an explanations to that. Don't tolerate what you cannot endure for the rest of your life if you are married to him. 
He needs to help you understand who tastes his rod and who loves his penis more, he needs to tell you why he deletes his chat messages and why he's not comfortable with you reading his conversations. 
Though it's healthy for you not to always read his chats and messages but that doesn't mean that if you encounter an anomaly, you should keep quiet and pretend that nothing is wrong with the relationship. 
Cheating doesn't start when a partner is caught having sex with a stranger, it begins with subtle thoughts, then harmless chats that is hidden(perhaps private parts are shared), then hidden dates and when the individual is caught in the act.
If he can't be faithful, honest, truthful, open, and sensitive to your feelings now that both of you are dating, how then do you hope to enjoy your marriage with him when you are building your relationship on a terrible foundation? 
Please do not be afraid to talk about your relationship with your partner nor should you continue with a man who flirts, and cheats on you. There is no love that can heal you of the pains and emotional torture of an individual who cheats and makes mockery of your sacrifices and selfless devotion to the relationship.

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