Sunday, June 26, 2016

My 'John Thomas' Wants to Destroy my Life!

Good morning Mummy Amara! I really thank you for putting smile on the faces of people, May God continue to give you grace.
Mummy, I'm no longer happy with the way my life is going; and it seems verily as if I don't know direction in life again.
I'm battling with emotional issue that I can't deal with.
I'm a young man who is in his mid 20's. Two years ago, I met a girl whom I love, she's all I desire in a woman, and I wish to marry her.
For a long while, almost one year plus, we've been apart, she is in south west for her studies while I am in north. In March this year, we travelled to our village in south east and I declared my intention to her cos I've got to love her for who she is.
Ever since then, I came to love her the more but the problem is my 'John Thomas' and sex drive. Could you imagine that by mere talking with her on phone or any slight thought of her, my JT will rise.
Mummy, my sex desire has risen to its boiling point. I practically want to have sex with her but for distance and conscience. Sexual urge has affected me in such a manner that I want to just have sex with any girl. I can no longer concentrate in my place of work (I'm doing some menial works to help cater my basic needs and see me through my post graduate studies).
I have arranged and attempted so many times to sleep with girls even in my room but my conscience wouldn't allow me, passages from the bible would strike me hard.
I have uncontrollably resorted into watching porns, and disappointingly, about to go into masturbation, who knows, smoking.
Mummy, I fully know that what I'm doing now is repugnant to God, but what do I do? The books I have read on how to control and manage sexual urge are no longer helpful.
Mummy Amara, please help me. My life is becoming shattered day by day. I no longer know myself. I'm drowning in the ocean of incessant sexual urge and drive. Would having sex may be once be helpful cos I haven't had sex before?
Please help a confused and wretched soul, I pray thee.

God heard your prayers and has sent me to encourage you and share some helpful tips with you. 
Calm down okay, nothing is actually wrong with the way your 'John Thomas' reacts and the urge to have sex with any lady. 
The first way to subdue your sexual feelings is by accepting that as a human being and a healthy individual, we all have sexual urge and desire to dig deep and be in the arms of the opposite sex. 
That was how God designed our body to work and after creation he saw it as being normal and good. So stop fighting your feelings and feeling like a sinner or a hell candidate because of your sexual urge. It is actually not true and anyone who preaches such to you is simply telling you his or her own opinion and never God's word. 
Now that we have accepted that sexual urge is normal and is also normal for you to be talking with your partner and your 'John Thomas' will be embarrassing you, we will then consciously decide to put our sexual desire under our control and not allow our sexual desire to control us. 
This is where you need wisdom, understanding, maturity and self control to manage your emotions and avoid allowing the devil to exploit your emotions and destroy your destiny. 
Every individual is a spirit and what that means is that if for any reason you sleep with anyone who is not your wife, you will be exposing yourself to the spirit of the individual. If the person is a prostitute, the spirit of prostitution will possess you. If such an individual is into lies, deception and stealing, the spirit of lies and stealing will possess you. 
This is one reason why you shouldn't allow your 'John Thomas' to push you into doing something that you will regret.
Imagine that God has prepared your wife for you, and he has given her the virtues, the grace, the wisdom, and the skills that she need to support you and bring out the very best in you and you then expose yourself into sleeping with another lady and perhaps in the process get her pregnant. That will definitely disorganise you and be a huge responsibility for you, and you may end up missing your wife and settling with the lady who God didn't prepare for you. 
Of course the child will be a reward that you have to cater for at the detriment of your ministry. So you don't wish to start before the time that you are emotionally prepared to build a family that you will be proud of. 
Because you are not an ordinary individual, because you have a divine purpose, because you have a calling and a vision as an individual, one of the things that you must flee from is anything that will expose you to having sex with anyone or every lady. You don't keep your body because you want to impress man but you keep your body because you want to honour God with your body and also prepare yourself for your marriage. 
The moment you start having sex, you will find it very difficult to manage your desire because you will definitely wish to continue having sex. So don't engage yourself in doing the things that will lure you to sex because it may weaken your commitment to your vision as a man. 
Always remember, no matter the excuses you have to venture into vices such as masturbation, smoking and pornography, you are destroying yourself and you are giving the devil the platform to destroy you entirely because with such vices comes addiction and you will need more than a counsel to overcome an addiction. 
Please deliberately decide from today to feed your mind with the word of God and  engage in productive activities. Never you watch pornography because it will transfer the spirit of masturbation into you and please do not smoke because it will never give you the inner peace of mind and fulfilment that you crave for. 
When your partner is around, both of you can talk about it, assure each other and encourage one another. A warm affection will definitely help you be strong to wait until both of you are ready to get married. 
Where your strength cannot carry you, where you feel that waiting for so long will give the devil the platform to destroy your spirit and body and you are ready to get married, please consider getting married so that both of you can enjoy sex in the presence of God without any fear.
Always remember that what you invest your mind in most is what manipulates your actions everyday. 
So mind what enters in your ears, eyes and the association that you keep. Though all ladies maybe beautiful but always remember that God has prepared the lady that will help you, support you, and grow in love with you for the rest of your life. 
The devil cannot take God's glory in your life and please don't allow the devil to make a mess of your life by manipulating your emotions against you.
You are already in your mid twenties and in no distant future, you will be with your wife and both of you can make love as much as you desire from her. 
You have to decide within your heart to manage your emotions and allow God to guide you through this phase of your journey. The problem is not your sexual desire but understanding why you must not allow the devil to destroy your future with your emotions. And once you understand the divine purpose for your life and the devil's plans, you will never allow him to reduce you to a man who cannot control himself and his ways. 
I pray that God will strengthen your heart and give you the grace to manage your emotions and prepare for marriage. I am personally proud of you for your honesty and sincerity and I know that you will overcome this okay.


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)