Saturday, June 18, 2016

He Has Refused to Leave my Apartment!

Good morning Amara, may God continue to give you the grace to tackle other people's family issues. Please I need your advice and that of the house. I live abroad with my hubby and kids. My brother-in-law have been squatting with us for almost three years now, and he is working constantly. He has refused to look for accommodation and leave.
The bills is too much for my hubby and his brother has turned a blind eye in contributing to the bills. People that stay abroad know how it is with bills. This frustration is too much and am at the receiving end when it gets too much for my husband. How do I tell my hubby to tell his brother to look for accommodation or contribute.
I don't want to insult his brother, but it is getting too much. My kids needs their space. His presence is denying my kids their own room. Thank you for your response.

It's a very sensitive issue especially if your husband is a man who tries to please his parents and siblings at the expense of his own immediate family. And as a result, you need to thread with great caution and wisdom to avoid letting your husband feel that you hate his family or brother. 
Let your approach be to help him see the challenges his children are experiencing and then ask him for ways to help the children to grow in a conducive and healthy environment. 
Whatever suggestion he feels is best for you and your children, please consider that and support him. If you must talk about his brother, it should be to thank God that he's doing well and that God has blessed him with a good job, perhaps you may now chip in as a suggestion that you feel that he should think of settling down. 
Then you may then ask him if they do discuss in that direction or whether he has such plans in mind (keeping his age in mind). This will then awaken his mind to perhaps have a word with him and understand what his plans are for his future. 
But if your husband is a wonderful man who wouldn't twist your words against you to suit his siblings, then you may express your concerns and worries about the state of your home and the challenges both of you are facing. Then you will enquire to know the plan of his brother so that at least you can plan ahead and avoid any unnecessary malice and confrontation with his brother.
Above all, be wise and discerning and strive as much as you can to avoid anything that will make those in the village to gather against you and label you as the enemy of their family.
It may not be so straightforward but since it's already a challenge for you and your children, you need to find a way to let your husband know your concerns so that he can use the position as the leader to make amends and intervene on your behalf.

1 comment:

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