Friday, June 3, 2016

Not Proud of Her Academically!

Good day dear. I am having a serious and self-compounded problem. I have this girl that was my class mate in secondary school, and we were not too close till eight years after we left school. We got talking and one thing led to another we started dating.
I must confess that she is a very nice and lovely girl, in fact she remains the best woman I have met in my whole life. We have been dating for almost three years now. I am a lover of education and that is now our problem. I am a graduate and in the history of my family it was as though no one would ever be a graduate but by the help of God I was able to break the record.
My girl is an only child and an orphan too. When we met, her O’ level result was not intact, so we worked on getting it complete and God being kind enough she wrote NECO GCE and got the missing subjects.
Our major problem now is that I am not just PROUD OF HER academically and this is really giving me concern. I know the problem is because she is not sound as I would have her be but am still aware that she can get there with time. My problem now is that I don’t have that time and to be candid with you I have better options academically sound, but character wise and the rest she is superb.
She wrote this current jamb and am sure her jamb score will give her admission but at the same time I wouldn’t want to marry her while in school neither will I like to wait for almost five years for her to be through with studies. My fear everyday is that no other woman treats me like her. I am afraid of losing her.
I met a girl recently that has it all except that she is not born again which is going to be disastrous for me. Am just confused and don’t know what to do. She threatened to kill herself if I ever leave her. I have a strong pity for her and at the same time afraid of losing her. I trust my future with her but I vowed not to marry a non-graduate.
My mom has come to love her even more than me because she is an orphan. I don’t want to marry out of sympathy. Am really confused and don’t know what to do.

I will ask you these questions because you claimed that you are born again Christian. Will God despise anyone because of their academic qualifications? Do you think that what matters most in your marriage and ministry is her academic qualifications and status? Have you sought the face of God concerning her and what's God's mind concerning your partner?
I thank God for giving you the rare privilege of becoming a graduate according to man's standard. I can imagine how much you invested, sacrificed, laboured and toiled to become a graduate and someone who has a better understanding of himself.
Before you became a graduate, you knew that love wasn't about academic qualifications, you knew that love doesn't segregate based on life achievements. Love for you was serene and the inner peace that comes with sharing your heart with your best friend.
Before you became a graduate, you knew that faithfulness was a priceless virtue, you never compared her with anyone else, nor did you have any other options, and she was the best lady in the whole universe.
Before you became a graduate there was no limitation or obstacle to your relationship with her, you believed in her even though you knew her challenges and limitations.
But now that God has made you a graduate, it seems as though you have suddenly forgotten where you came from. I'm almost tempted to say that though you are now a graduate of your course of study, you are fast losing the wisdom and virtues that you need to smile and be happy for the rest of your life.
Unfortunately no school will teach you that no academic qualifications or academic level will guarantee success in your marriage. No knowledge of anything can soothe your heart if you get married to a lady who doesn't love you selflessly, is willing to submit herself to you, and ready to give you her all to bring out the very best in you.
I perfectly understand your concerns and reservations about her level of education but if you truly love this lady, the lady who stood by you when things were tough, the lady that you claim is the best lady you have ever met in life, the lady who have a personal relationship with God, the lady who gives you the peace of mind and the lady who gives you joy, I feel that both of you can work out how to help her acquire the kind of education and training that you desire for her and at the same time get married to each other.
There's no time that is ever late for one to go back to school, some husbands sponsored their wives in a part time programmes and weekend programme and they are graduates and also doing well today. Some wives got married while in school and they still managed their marriage and their education with the support of their husbands.
So for me, her case is not entirely hopeless because she is willing and ready to go to school and also share in your journey as her husband and companion.
If the only reason why you feel pity for her was because of her academic challenges, I feel that you can reconsider your decision and think of ways to groom her to your own taste and choice.
I am not compelling you to get married to her but I am sincerely afraid that in your bid to marry a graduate, you might end up acquiring a lady with a certificate and lose your companion in your partner. You might end up getting married to a lady who is a graduate and end up competing with her in everything. You might end up getting married to the lady that will suit your academic status and she'll end up dragging you backwards spiritually, emotionally and psychologically.
Please do not be in a hurry to conclude that you cannot marry your partner, but seek the face of God, evaluate what you really value most in life, and what you desire most in the lady that you desire to spend the rest of your life with before deciding on what's best for you at this point in your journey.
If after all evaluation and deliberations you are still convinced that you cannot get married to her giving all your excuses, please do not get married to her out of pity but take your time and explain your reasons why you cannot get married to her and move on with your life.
In all, don't let what you think that you know make you lose what you need most in your journey, you will understand the difference painfully when you may not have an option to make amends.


  1. Guy u are wicked o o !!!!
    Can't u marry her in her 2nd year???
    All yeah FAKE CHRISTIANS GID will judge...Mtcheeew

  2. Lol he alone is his family graduate and yet he vow not to marry a non graduate..

    I don't know what is wrong with people sef. What is academic compare to friendship and peace of mind that love brings??


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