Saturday, July 2, 2016

Am Fed up with Everything.

Good evening my dearest Aunty Amara. Please I want you and your fans to help me out on this issue I have at hand. I am a lady of 29 year old dating a man of the same age, the only difference is that my birth month is July and his own is October, and I also look much younger.
The relationship has lasted for two years and he is my first boyfriend. Both of us are graduates but he was four years ahead of me in school. He is a very transparent and responsible man. We love each other so much and have agreed to settle down but the problems are as follows.
When the people came to make enquiries about my family and I, someone told them that my mother is a troublesome person that she use to cause all the problems in our compound. Secondly there is a girl that his sister wanted him to marry and even went ahead to tell the girl's mother to bring list. When he refused, the sister directed him to a prophetess who pointed the girl in question as his wife to be (he went along with my picture according to him) he went with pictures of three girls, two of his people's choice and mine.
They went to about two prayer contractors who pointed the girls photo. But he said that he has told them that who he wants is me. That he was just doing all that just not to offend his mother. But when he raises the issue of us that the mother will always remind her that about the info they got from one woman who said that my mother is not a good woman. That let him marry one of their family friend's daughter.
Could you believe me that the same woman also comes to our own flat to tell my parents how bad my friend's father is. But of recent my guy told me that they have cleared all doubts about my parents that they gave him between now to make all the necessary plans and wed before the year runs out.
But of recent, I got to know from him that he has been keeping another girl in case my parents did not agree, because he recalled that I told her how my sister was against the plan. He is now pressurizing me to tell my parents about it again to know their mind because he want to do as they have instructed him.
My friend just started work newly but the parents and elder sisters wants to sponsor everything until he is stable.
Note: My elder sister is against the marriage because
1. That he is too young for me, that as time goes on he will start noticing am no longer young for him.
2. That they are seeing my mother as a troublesome woman so therefore any little mistake I made they will tag me as bad because that's the way they see my mom.
3. That the elder sisters will make life miserable for me when they have sponsored everything, and also owing to the fact that they wanted another girl, that she doesn't want me to go to a place I won't be happy.
Am even getting fed up about everything. So my people what do you think about this issue

I'm tempted to throw the question back to you, what do you really think about your relationship? Why does it feel like both of you are not emotionally mature to build a relationship that will stand the test of time.
Just as your sister is working against your relationship, his own sister with her prayer contractors are working against your relationship too.
In the web of all these opinions and perceptions, both of you ought to have a strong convictions about your relationship and your agreement to settle down with each other, not to sound as though everyone is forcing both of you to marry against your will.
Let's begin with your sister's worries. If you and your partner deeply love each other and both of you are comfortable with your personality, who will remember your age difference? If you are married to a man who is emotionally mature and mentally stable to take care of his responsibilities, provide the security, shelter and comfort for his wife, where will his sisters and families attack you? And if he truly appreciates your personality, why will he criticise you based on the opinions of others?
On his own part, for him to agree to go to prayer contractors is a no no for any man who has a personal relationship with God and is convinced of who he wishes to settle down with.
And having a standby girl is the height of his immaturity and uncertainty about what he truly need in a lady he wish to marry.
Both of you need to work together as one, agree with one heart and work out your differences before inviting the world to celebrate with both of you.
I feel that you and your partner need some counselling just to get some facts clear and iron out all the grey areas to avoid getting married and having issues afterwards.
If he can talk to me here, that will be great for your relationship but you shouldn't allow your sister to push you around and feed you with tales that may never come to light in the future.
Seek the face of God, meditate about your relationship, and decide whether you are comfortable with settling with him or you feel that he's not good enough for you.
When you are convinced, you won't need the opinions of anyone else to decide what next to do.

1 comment:

  1. Marriage is not a joke as u have made its seems like a screen play,dear plz u need to ask urself som$e persomal #uestion


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