Sunday, July 3, 2016

How Can I Manage an Emotionally Unstable Man?

Good day ma.. Thanks for the good works, keep it up. Ma please l have this question that has been bothering me for quite a long time now "please how can l handle an emotionally unstable guy?"
l have been dating this guy for five years though on and off, distance actually separated us the first seven months we met, cos he was posted to Abuja for his NYSC then while l was in Anambra.... He do visit Anambra then but like thrice in a year, l later found out that he was having an affair with an Abuja based lady. We had issues because of that and l broke up with him....
Now he's back to east for his post graduate school and we are back together. l don't demand anything from him cos am doing a menial job and at the same time waiting for service. Ma the problem is that this guy can be so romantic today but so mean tomorrow, there is this incident that has been happening repeatedly, he might be online on WhatsApp and when l chat him up he will so ignore me that sometimes I might think am a piece of nothing to him..
l later found out that there is this girl that whenever she's online he hardly reply my chat, and he saved the girl's name with "baby" while mine was with my name.
Note: The Abuja based lady is now married.....
At the initial time of the relationship he introduced me to his parents as a friend that was four years back before the break up. But now whenever l want to go to their family house it has always been hide and seek and we've had sex several times. Though he do tell me that soon l will become part of their family. Ma am so confused that sometimes l feel he doesn't take me serious. He's 30 and am 27.

It's my job to give you the correct diagnosis of your relationship issues and my suggestions, while it's your job to decide whether to act on my suggestions or do something different.
Your partner is not suffering from emotional instability, he's actually emotionally immature, and some of the characteristics of emotionally unstable individual is infidelity.
Your partner is simply double dating and is making the best use of the opportunity by promising you heaven and earth to be in your laps and then leaving you for another lady when he's done with having sex.
When he saves another lady's name with 'baby' and then saves yours with your name and surname (lol), when he concentrates on his 'baby' and ignore you, when he hides you from his family, he's actually not emotionally unstable, he's simply using his dating language to remind you that you are only good for sex and nothing more.
Is that what you want from a relationship? Is he really the picture of the kind of husband that you hope to settle down with? A man who cheats and apologise and then cheat again? A man who doesn't appreciate your emotions and give you attention? A man who seems to be afraid to introduce you to his family?
Hello? Can you wake up and take hold of your life even if you feel that you cannot force him to date you. Can you please zip up and at least monitor his attitude towards you to help you find out what exactly he's attracted to.
The earlier you take hold of your life, the safer it will be for you not to reduce your value for a man who has no future plans with you.

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