Saturday, July 2, 2016

What Could have Changed his Mind?

Dear Aunty Amara,
Thanks for all your contribution towards relationships. God will continue to elevate you. Please post this as I need to hear from the house on this matter.
I will be 30 in a few days and have been in a relationship of over a year. I met him as a serving Corp Member, he is 31, very ambitious, civil and caring and we became friends and later started dating. Things were smooth and going so well, at least I thought so until last month he started behaving strangely. Mostly withdrawn.
I asked him and he said that our relationship was not working, cos he doesn't feel that spark, that he doesn't think it would work and thinks we should be friends all over. I decided to let him go, painfully cos it was better now than later. I tried so much to focus on my work and other things and have been doing well with it.
Since Saturday, he has been disturbing me, telling me he was confused and blinded by so many things but that now he can see, that he needs me in his life and cannot afford to lose me. Please Ma, kindly advise me cos am worried as to what could have changed under a month. Thank you.

This is what only him can answer but from his attitude it shows that he might not be emotionally mature to discern exactly what he needs in a partner or relationship. It's possible that he was dating someone else and suddenly realised that you were 'better' than her and that made him to feel that he can't afford to lose you.
So maybe you should be extra careful and observant just to be sure that he's not a two-timer or simply using you to fill the gap while he plans with another lady.
Have a heart to heart discussion with him and find out what was the miracle that made him to suddenly realise that you had the spark and the so many things that blinded his eyes were wiped off in a second.
Of course he needs to define the relationship proper and give you the specifics of his vision and plan for the relationship so that you don't just hang in there in the name of dating without telling where the relationship is heading to.
After discussing with him, you will then decide if he's worth the stress and sacrifice. In all, don't date a man who compares you with another lady or tolerates your presence in his life because he'll definitely find an excuse to leave you for another person.

1 comment:

  1. He might even lie with this hrt _hrt talk,
    Just tell him to define the relationship he want with u,and from ur part stop having sex with him for now,it beta for u if u can discipline urself.mfor now don't give all ur hrt,and don't do alll the loving loving tin, let him. Woo you again


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