Sunday, July 31, 2016

Do I Confront Her or Keep Quiet?

Good morning ma. So blessed to know you. I have been following your page and feel you can also help out.
I have this sister-in-law who hasn't been in talking terms with me for six years now after a little misunderstanding occurred. I have tried over the years to make peace but it's not really working. We were once friends on BBM, WhatsApp and Facebook but parted ways when there was a misunderstanding. I keep trying but she's still not free.
Recently a peace settlement was made in the family and everyone was told to let go and be at peace to which I stepped up the game by calling and texting her for us to live as one.
I also called her to know if she's not okay with me adding her on any of my social media again because I noticed she blocked my new line I used for WhatsApp, has refused accepting my BBM request and Facebook request. She said there's nothing wrong that she doesn't know the settings right now on her Facebook but will let me know so we can add ourselves and I said okay.
But shockingly yesterday being the 28/07/2016 I was amazed when I saw that she has blocked me on Facebook! This is someone I sent an SMS on the 27/07/2016 to know how she is and everything which she replied she was fine and sent her regards to my family as well.
When I saw this action of her yesterday I felt something was wrong. I feel she has something up her sleeves and I am pushed to guard my coast and my kids from her cause I don't know her thoughts.
Do I confront her or keep quiet?
Your candid advice will be appreciated. God bless you.

I am tempted to ask, what exactly is this 'misunderstanding' that has made you restless and uncomfortable with yourself. My question is, must she be your friend and why does it seems as though she's the one that you fear more than you respect your husband?
There are some peace venture that is to me sincerely unnecessary and foolish too, except you are saying that you cannot be married to your husband without her 'approval'.
You owe your husband all the love, affection and support that he needs, and to your in-laws, respect, humility and courtesy in all your endeavours.
You don't fight with anyone, you don't exchange words with anyone, you don't need to please everyone either, rather you go through your husband and also maintain cordial relationship with his parents.
And there's no law that says that she must be in your social network or part of your personal advisers for your marriage to succeed and for you to enjoy this so called peace pack.
There are so many important things to do with your time than beg for her acceptance and friendship. There are some families where you don't need to be 'friends' with the in-laws for you to be seen as a good woman or whatever title you're looking for.
You need to sift the important things from the irrelevant things and invest your time in building your home and not chasing friendship from your foes.
I will suggest that you quit begging for friendship, in fact you should not have anything in connection with the lady except greetings and good prayers.
Wish her well, reach out only when it's necessary and for a good purpose and maintain a healthy space from her.

1 comment:

  1. I don't know what the cause of the misunderstanding, I don't know the kind of person you are or your sister in law so I am not going to start condemning her. Sometimes people hurt us so much that it only takes the grace of God to have anything to do with them again. I personally have been that hurt but it was when I realised that in life it's not what a person does to you that affects you but how you take that hurt. What I am going to say to you is this if you know you were at fault beg her with from your heart not the eye service kind of begging because you want people to see you as peaceful. But if not and you have gone to all this length then just leave her and try to maintain a formal relationship with her. I am saying this because most times people hurt real bad and turn around one day see you say good morning to you and expect you to give them a hug. Meanwhile they betrayed you to the highest level. My opinion from experience.


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