Thursday, July 14, 2016

He Cancelled our Traditional Wedding, Please Help!

Good morning ma, please I need your advice. I have been dating for six months now. On Sunday last week we had a youth program in my church, it happened that my fiancé told me that he was coming to that program.
I was there already before I heard a call from my girlfriend that she's in my house that I should come home. I called my fiancé two times but he did not pick up. I decided to go home, when I reached my house, it happened that she came with her husband to show their new car and in that process we all moved to a fast food joint to celebrate it.
Immediately we reached there my fiancé called, that he is at that program, I told him that am coming right now, that I had an emergency call at home, he now got to my house immediately without telling me that he was coming. When he called me, I now told him to come to that fast food joint, he got angry, his next comment to me is that the relationship is over. And our traditional marriage which is supposed to be next month is cancelled. . Please ma help me on this issue.

You agreed on a date with your fiancé, the appropriate thing was for you to keep to the date. In a case of emergency, you should have tried communicating to him of your change in plan so that he won't feel like you don't appreciate him or respect his personality.
I know that you called but when he didn't pick up, you should have sent a text message. I understand that it didn't come to your mind.
Fine you told him you were at home instead of telling him that you were in a restaurant (that was a technical lie). When he called that he was in your house, the best thing, and the most appropriate thing you could have done was to leave everything you were doing, take permission from your guests, rush home, meet up with him and explain your movements to him and not to turn him around like a slave or a small boy.
That was expecting too much from him and that is where I feel that you didn't get it right.
Make out time to pay him a visit and apologise your insensitivity to his feelings. No need for more explanations, simply apologise for not keeping to the date and the pockets of delays and distractions here and there.
When you are done, give him some space and allow him to decide whatever he feels is the best for him.
I want to believe that he trusts you as an individual and doesn't monitor every step you take. Else this might just be a sign that he doesn't trust you or feel that you are faithful or devoted to him. And you need to take caution to avoid complaining about his personality in the future.

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