Friday, July 15, 2016

He Insists that I Must Swear an Oath for us to Continue with the Marriage.

Aunty Amara good evening. I got married two years ago, we dated for six months and I met my husband through his friend. After wedding I discovered that if I plan with my husband, he will ask for his friend's opinion and whatever the friend says is final.
Recently he was posted to Calabar while I was in Benin, and he came for Christmas and did not come for new year and January, February, March, he refuse to come and see me. When I complained, he gives excuse that it was work. So one faithfully Saturday, his friend's brother called me that we did not visit the family for new year and I told him that my husband did not come for the new year and till March he has not come that when he comes we will visit the family. The next day which was a Sunday at about 7pm the friend's brother called me if I was home and I responded yes, before I could rush down of my stair case he was at the door and he told me he came to see me and I responded that we can discuss downstairs that it was late to allow him in.
He then responded that he called my husband to ask him why he has not come and my husband responded that is because of me, that I hate his family and mother and I responded to the friend, that is this the reason why you want to see me and that if that was the reason that I don't have time to discuss with him that he feel is because of that he want to stay away from me no problem because I can't recall having issues with his family.
And the friend made a statement that once you marry a man don't I know am a slave to his family, and I responded I can never be a slave to his family that I use to call his family to check on them but none has ever called me to check on me so I stopped, and the friend responded that the way I am even talking to him shows that I am the problem and if his wife tried that he will beat her.
I became too angry and I walk him out of the house. Within two hours my mum's sisters called me that my husband called them that I told his friend I was sleeping around and I will kill my husband if care is not taken, and I did not even allow him into the house and I told my family all what happened. Three days later my husband came to Benin and pushed me out of the master bedroom and told me his family said before I can have anything with him again I will go to his village to swear juju. I refused on the third day after he visited Benin, he locked me out before I returned from work and I had no option but to move to my mum's place.
The next day when I noticed he went out I rushed in to pick few cloths when he notice I came he change the key to the house. My uncle and family called him and tried to hear from him and make him know that the friend was lying and their daughter will not go and swear any juju, he responded that his family has agreed and I must do it.
It's four months this issue happened, none of my husband's family called me to ask what happened and I have been living with my parent. And now he is begging me that he want peace but I should agree to go swear juju and he cannot overrule his family's decisions.
Since then he now move around with that friend, and they cook food and bring it for him to eat. And if I call him if is with his friends he will pretend as if the network is bad, he only talk to me well when he is at his work station. Please Amara I need your advice help me.

Under no circumstances or condition should you bow down to dead gods in the name of swearing to any rubbish and stupid allegations levelled against you.
Always remember that as long as your hands are clean and you know that you have never soiled your hands with infidelity, don't worry whatever gimmicks or manipulations they bring out to frustrate your life because we serve a living God and not a toothless dog.
Our God will fight your battle, destroy your enemies and give you victory. Don't bother calling or begging him. Don't even entertain such discussion because it's repugnant to your ears. Simply watch an pray and leave the rest to God who is forever faithful to reward everyone according to their deeds.
This is the challenge of getting married to a baby boy who cannot make decisions as a man or stand up for what his convinced of. If he's ready for the marriage, he must bring his family and tender an unreserved apology to your family for false accusations against you and for humiliating you. He must also get rid of his friend and learn how to make his wife his best friend to avoid these hopeless attitude from him.
If he's not comfortable with your terms and conditions, then both of you can decide to seek for counselling or agree to move on with your life.

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