Friday, July 22, 2016

Should I Walk Away or Work it Out with Him?

Good morning ma, I am G*** from Abuja. I have been following your page for years and I love how you help people out with advice. I pray God to give you more wisdom and grace.
Please ma I need your advice, I have been in a relationship for five years, he flirts with every woman, he cheated three years ago and told me he will never do it again, I struggled to trust him again which I finally did. He has proposed.
But the problem now is that he has not stopped flirting, he travels a lot for work and each time he does come back he always come back with many new female contacts he claimed to have worked with. They become his regular contacts, they keep calling him even at odd hours and he does same, send text messages and he even delete some, we have had several fight on that.
Few days ago he came back from a journey after two months of being away, only for me to see a text he sent at 12am to a lady that he was awake and listening to a particular song, thoughts of her enveloped him, where is she, by his side? And several other ones to others too. When I asked, he got angry that I went through his phone, he refused to explain only for him to tell me later that he had nothing with them, that they are colleagues and he was only fanning their fantasy, that they are older and even know about me.
He told me he is only building working relationships, that he is not sorry because he only flirt as being socialable and he does not sleep with them. I couldn't handle that but cried because I have been faithful to him and I thought of how when away, we had an argument, he will refuse to pick my calls for days, he said I am only making myself unhappy and walked away while I was crying, he didn't look back, only for him to say that I was only acting because he was around, that flirting his his nature he is trying to fight.
Aunty I am almost 28 and I don't know what to do or believe anymore, I have had only him for five years supporting him through hard times, believing we were building a future together. I don't know if I am to walk away or try make things work, I am very bitter and hurt now.

When you build your foundation with a substandard material, you are only constructing a death trap that will crush many individuals some time later. That is exactly what happens when you build a relationship with a partner who doesn't share the same values and convictions with you.
It doesn't matter how long you have been with him or how much you have invested in the relationship because sooner or later, you will rediscover that you can't cope with his personality and attitude anymore.
According to him, flirting is his nature and according to him also he's fighting against it. The real trouble is, if you end up getting married to him, can you really cope with him while he fights against flirtatious attitude and infidelity?
What if he has multiple sexual partners which is nothing to flirts, can you cope with him? Will you be patient enough to wait for him to overcome this habit?
Do you think that he sees anything wrong with this attitude? What deliberate steps has he taken towards overcoming the addiction?
Do you have the mental, psychological and spiritual capacity to manage his weaknesses for as short or as long as this may take him?
I know that your greatest fear and concern is losing him after investing five years of your life with him but do you know my greatest fear? It's you getting married to him only to realise that you made the greatest mistake of your life and then live the rest of your life with regrets, pains and disappointment. Or getting married to him and then rushing out of your marriage, or getting married to him and contracting one form of infections and diseases or another as a result of his generosity to ladies.
It is wiser to lose an unhealthy relationship than to spend the rest of your marital life in regrets and agony of what you could have done better.
Seek the face of God and trust him to give you the wisdom and grace to make the right decision in your relationship.


  1. My dear she has say it all pls pls n pls I will beg u to walk away cos I once had a guy like dat I told me dat vaing female frdz n vaing multiple girl frd is part of him my I quietly way away n I va rest of mind


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