Hi Aunty Amara, I'm 23 and a graduate currently working and doing ma post graduate stidies in one of the eastern states, I'm engaged and my wedding is scheduled for next year because I'll round up my program this year and due to ma job, we're working on my relocation to where my fiance stays.
We wouldn't want to wed and still have distance, and some things aren't pretty much in shape as he lives in a one room apartment which is a logde for students and it would expire this year, he wants to get an apartment which we're already working on.
My fiancé is in a different state where he works as a doctor, but visits and I also visit him as much as we can. We were both students( he was a senior colleague) in the same fellowship when we starting the relationship. I personally and my people don't have a problem with that because we wouldn't want to rush things when we're not ready.
But the issue here is I and my fiancé are believers and we love God. We've not had sex but each time we do heavy petting, we feel so bad afterwards. And somehow the urge for sex especially on my man side is so strong. And he keeps telling me he doubts if he can wait that long. I'm I virgin and honestly aunty I desire it too.
We decided to exchange vows secretly and commit ourselves pending when we will wed openly. Are we truly married? What really is marriage. The both families have given consent and my heart is at peace with him. We're just waiting for things to take shape, which we know is next year. Can you wed two times? What is marriage as acceptable to God? Will it be like we deceiving people and ourselves when we've already joined secretly and want to do white wedding again? Thanks ma.
I appreciate your absolute honesty and sincerity in your mail and I must admit that I am proud of you and your partner for upholding the virtues of sexual purity in a sexually perverse generation. Congratulations.
The very basic symbol of marriage that is acceptable to God and humanity is fulfilling the traditional wedding requirements. Once a man and his family have officially identified with the family of his wife, declare his intentions to get married to his wife, and then pay the bride prize on the head of the lady, she is automatically married to him and have all the marital blessings under heaven in her marriage.
The bride prize is a sacred token of sacrifice and appreciation that gives the wife the pride of place in the life of her husband, it automatically makes the wife part of the heritage and the family of her husband.
When Paul was explaining the mystery of the death of Jesus Christ on the cross of calvary and the salvation that we have as Christians, he made reference to paying a price for our salvation.
for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
1 Corinthians 6:20 ESV
This is very symbolic to every Christian because we know that our salvation was purchased by the blood of Jesus Christ, so we cannot live to self but to Christ who died on the cross of calvary.
The very moment your husband has paid your bride prize, you do not belong to your family anymore nor do you belong to yourself, rather you belong to your husband in all ramifications and endeavours.
This doesn't mean that church wedding is bad but I must tell you this gospel truth which some churches may hide from you, you have every legitimate right to have sex with your husband after he has paid your dowry.
Now if you are in a church that insist on wedding before conception, please heed to their own doctrine because that's the authority guiding them, but if you are not comfortable with the doctrine, please look for where you can have your modest wedding bless your marriage.
Instead of doing a secret exchange of vows, encourage your fiancé to prepare for a mini traditional wedding that may not involve up to fifteen individuals in attendance and let him fulfil this divine responsibility in your marriage so that both of you can enjoy sex without fear or worries.
That is actually what you need and not the secret exchange of vows that is not recognised by God. Dowry is the most important aspect of your marriage. After you have done that, both of you can prepare for white wedding whenever you are ready and whenever it is convenient for you.
Please avoid anything that will put you and your partner under pressure. No need for the expensive dresses or the social media razzmatazz just for a day's programme, but save the money for building your family and getting the basic needs in your home.
With time, you can still do all the celebrations and the parties that you wish to do and the world will always rejoice with you whenever you invite them.
So sit down with your fiancé and prayerfully prepare for your marriage. It's only normal for his penis to search for signals whenever he's with you and I am hopeful that God will put things in place so that both of you can lunch into your own world of fulfilling marriage and sexual paradise.
Heaven recognizes the authority of the church this is the reason Joseph could not live or have intimate relationship with Mary though the traditional thing has been done. Please the church wedding before conjugal right is recognized by heaven.
ReplyDeletePoint of correction sir, The most recognized if not only is the trad wedding (payment of dowry). There was nothing like church during the time of Mary and Joseph. They were betrothed just like the wedding intro we do now not trad wedding.
DeleteThe Christian Bible says "My people perish for lack of knowledge...and since you have rejected knowledge, i will also reject you. Hosea 4:6". Despite all the opportunities presented in this Article for you to learn, without the fear of God, you still went ahead to argue blindly without any scriptural backing. Was there Church in the period of "Joseph and Mary" ? Was it the Church, if there was any, that asked Joseph not to sleep with his legitimate wife "Mary" or the Bible recorded that he wanted to sleep with her and now discovered that she's already pregnant, and consequently he was thinking of putting her away secretly ? Was it the Church that declared to Mary "Blessed are thou amongst women, blessed is the fruit of thy womb" or it was an Angel from Heaven ? In the Bible, from Genesis to revelation, is there any passage that recording Marriage according to White Wedding ? In the Marriage where Jesus attended with his Mother and turned water to wine, was it a white wedding or Traditional Marriage ? You will do well to go back and study your Bible before you argue foolishly in public.
Delete@ Otu & Akinwunmi may God bless you guys for that. DAT was how a lady rejects d guy that cherish her so much,simply bcos d guy said he's buoyant enuf to host a wedding, despite d fact DAT d guy has paid her dowry and they've celebrate their traditional marriage, she's still single up to date. Mtchew....
DeleteI love these exposure and people really need to hear this. Tranditional marriage is the only marriage accepted and blessed by God. White wedding is just a white man' tradition that blacks have accepted and it hurts most when churches have turned it to a doctrine that is never found in the bible. White wedding is another packaged mental slavery.....let white also do our wedding....too. Its only Nigeria that we have traditional marriage, court wedding and white wedding while white have wedding and court registration.....what a life.
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ReplyDeleteDashing quote. such saying really touches heart! Marriage Quotes at its best is always impressive.
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