Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Am Afraid of Losing Him But I'm not Ready For Marriage.

Good evening ma. I want to thank God for using you to bless lives as I've been greatly inspired by your good works. May God bless you real good.
Ma, please I have an issue which has been bothering me. Am 21 years old though will be 22 by October and am a 400 level law student in one of the Nigerian universities. Am currently dating a guy who actually has the intentions of getting married to me by next year.
But the problem is that am not emotionally and psychologically prepared to get married and I want to finish my studies, I mean graduate from law school before getting married because my course needs maximum concentration. The guy in question is 33 years and he has made the decision to get married next years. We love each other so much and he has been a great support to me both spiritually, academically, and financially.
I feel as if am tying him down by telling him to wait for me but am also afraid of losing him. I discussed with him this evening and he categorically stated that he wants to get married next year and so I should decide what I want on time and tell him. He has virtually every quality I need in a man and I think he is the right man for me. Am afraid of losing him but am confused as regards which choice to make. Please aunty what should I do?


In three years from now you will be 25 years old which is pretty good for a lady who perhaps wish to ignore marriage and focus on her studies, but for your partner, three years extra may be quite huge for him to wait for you to graduate before getting married to you.
If this man has all the qualities of the man you wish to spend the rest of your life with, if you're convinced that he's the one for you, and if you are not willing to leave him and perhaps wait for another man who will wait for you to graduate before getting married, then I will suggest that you sit down with him and plan on how both of you can achieve your academic goals and at the same time settle down with him.
If he has been supportive to your academic pursuit, I don't think that getting married to him will crush your ambition to become a lawyer, but then it will give so much responsibilities.
It's up to you to weigh your options and go for what you feel that is more important to you or work with him and fashion out ways to balance the two and still maximise your opportunities.
Acquiring a bachelor's degree is actually very important, so also is getting married to a man who shares the same convictions, values, vision and purpose in life. You need to ask yourself some important questions and go for what will give you the peace of mind and fulfilment in life.
Degrees can be acquired anytime in life but choosing who to get married to is a sensitive decision and one that you must give utmost attention and adequate consideration for,  to avoid acquiring a certificate and end up with a miserable partner.

2 comments:

  1. U can still get married to him nxt year then maybe u both conclude starting a family after law school. Once u done with Bsc do ur trad the maybe after or during law school u can start planing white.u will discover that u made the right decision then when ur mate are worried about marriage u are already settled
    Sometime we lady think we are still young to do some tin and we let opportunity slip by

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  2. RELATIONSHIP RULES TO LIVE BY:
    1. Romantic Relationships are STRICTLY for the purpose of marriage.
    2. Romantic Relationships are STRICTLY for people who are READY for marriage.
    If you are not ready for marriage,what exactly are you doing with a relationship?

    **
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    *7. Is He Into Me,Or Does He Want To Get Into Me,by Steve Harris
    *8. Resolving Conflicts In Relationships,by Poju Oyemade
    *9. Preparing for Marriage,by Tumise Ewedemi
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