Sunday, August 14, 2016

Am Scared of Her Recent Attitude.

Good evening ma'am... Actually it's not been quite long I started going through your articles and counsellings and I must confess that you are doing a great service in the lives of humanity.
Well Aunty am a guy of 25 years, I just graduated, presently awaiting the call for NYSC... I have been in a relationship for like three years and two months now.
I had this issue outside my relationship which I have always admitted of it being my fault. I had an encounter with this girl who's not my girlfriend, we became friends, she comes around often and sometimes I grant academic assistance to her.
And as time went on, she started developing this feeling towards me, of which she couldn't hide it but told me even when I had told her am in a relationship. She got so close to me that I felt sending her away was going to be harsh on her. That even her friends started thinking she was dating me. Not until one faithful day having persuaded me to take her to my place, she seduced me and to tell you the truth, I kissed her and almost ended up having sex with her, but thank God as I was about getting in, I realised myself and jumped up knowing what was about to happen wasn't right.
Immediately I asked her to leave and since then I really started avoiding her which she noticed and also decided to repent of that infidelity act but kept it away from my girlfriend in avoidance of what her reaction would be like. And only for her after about four to five months went and told my girlfriend how I kissed her which is undeniably true and also lied and told her that I had sex with her too.
Aunty this actually brought a very big problem between me and my girlfriend which eventually led to a break up. Of which I kept on begging and showing her how sorry I am and accepting all the faults. After about a whole lots of begging and crying like a baby, she finally accepted and we got back together again.
Aunty ever since then, things have not really been the same. She talks to me with every disregard, disrespects me, yells at me over every little thing, makes me feel as though I don't have any right to tell her anything, gets mad at me when I ask her questions. But aunty one truth which I know for sure is that I really love her, and I know she does too. But even at that, am still confused cos I don't want to lose her. And am scared of all her recent style of attitude. Please Aunty give me your candid advice. Thanks.

I believe that you will learn from this and at the same time appreciate what you have much more than anyone else, because if you loved your partner as you claimed, you won't allow the other lady to get a better part of your emotions to the point of almost having sex with her. And as you already know, her goal was to win your heart and be your girlfriend, since she wasn't able to achieve that, she resorted to looking for an avenue to destroy your relationship, that way you will then be tempted to return back to her. 
When a lady falls in love with a man, she gives her all because she desires to be part of your life, be your friend, your mother, your companion, your partner and your sister. She will do everything within her capacity to make you happy, fulfilled and loved, but if you should give her one reason to feel otherwise, she will be as terrible and horrible than you ever imagined. 
It's not necessarily because she hates you but because she no longer feel protected, at peace, and fulfilled being with you. She hates to feel that she's not sufficient for you, she hates to feel that she's in a competition with another lady, and she's constantly thinking about what the lady has that she doesn't have and can't give to you. 
This is exactly the reason for her strange attitude towards you, and I won't encourage you to give up on her, but take this as an opportunity to win her heart over again. 
Love her, shower her with so much affection, spend more time listening to her heart and ignore her reactions, celebrate her more, compliment her more, and think of ways to strengthen your relationship and rebuild the broken walls of trust. 
You have to decide within your heart never to cheat on your partner or give her reasons to doubt your love for her and her trust in you. This is because if you start cheating on your partner now that you are dating her, there's every possibility that you will continue cheating on her even after getting married to her. 
You need to know when to cut off unnecessary friendship and avoid acting in a way or manner that suggests that you are interested or comfortable with a lady when you don't intend to date such a lady. 
Always remember that what it takes for a lady to win your heart and entangle you in her web of emotions is attention and time. If you are not interested, then don't spend unnecessary time and give careless attention to a lady. 
Because I feel that you are honest and sincere about what happened in your relationship, I will suggest that you encourage your partner to write to me so that I can have a word or two with her and encourage her to let go of the past, that both of you can work together and bring out the very best in your relationship.

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