Monday, August 8, 2016

I Don't Know What to Do in Order to be in Love Again?

Hello Amara, good morning to you the daughter of the most High God. I'm having a big challenge in the area of relationship. I'm a 35 years old man,my story will be a little bit long. Please bear with me.
It all started in the year 2009. I travelled to South Korea on my transit in Doha airport Qatar.
I met a young Korean lady, she was in her early twenties then, actually inside the aircraft we talked and she gave me her card. Later in Busan Korean she secured a job for me, we started dating, along the line she got pregnant for me and later gave birth to a baby girl. Things were moving fine between us.
Two year after, she lost her mother, that lead her into drinking and smoking, never took care of our daughter whenever I'm at work. I will be the one to bath our daughter whenever I came back from work. She smokes more than one packet of cigarettes daily and bottle of vodka.
At a point I couldn't take it anymore. I talked to her uncle about it, even told him that I will look for another apartment and pack in with our daughter. She got the information and reported it to the police, and I was arrested and questioned. She accused me of planning to take her daughter out from her. I was arraigned before the court, I was restricted from coming close to my daughter, also given an order to leave the house for her and our daughter.
I got an apartment three kilometers away, days later I couldn't withstand my not seeing my daughter for some days. I sneaked into her house at night to see my daughter, and I was caught and arrested again. She met her family lawyer and asked him to cancel the papers to cover my staying there, and I was repatriated. It wasn't easy for me then.
A month later, I applied for Dubai visa, later met a lady here in Nigeria. In two months time, I introduced her to my family and they all liked her. I told her that I will like to meet her parents so that I can pay her dowry and do some other things. She told me never to worry that I should travel to Dubai, when I come back I can do the necessary thing on her head.
Two months later I travelled to Dubai, we kept the communication flowing, I do send her some goods to be selling at times in order to keep herself busy. After three years, I came back, what did I see? She was breastfeeding her new born baby.
She got married to a man a year before I arrived in Nigeria, and she never told me on phone during our communication. My sister Amara, I don't really have feelings for any woman for over a year now. I don't know what to do in order to be in love again. Please advice me.

I am so sorry for all that life has put you through and the pains of loving the wrong individuals. I sincerely don't have the right words to comfort you on your journey, especially knowing that you can't even set your eyes on your precious daughter without being harassed by the law. 
One encouragement that I will give to you is that your daughter will someday come looking out for you, and someday you will have the privilege to reunite with your daughter. 
Your journey was like that of a man who set out to farm without equipping himself with the tools, techniques and the knowledge that he needed to succeed in his venture. He went in with so much passion and ended up wasting so much funds and time without making anything out of it. 
Beauty is deceptive and we all know that what attracts the eyes may not be the content, and this is why it is very very important to examine, to study, and to adequately prepare yourself before venturing into relationships and marriage. 
Dating a foreign lady has some rules and regulations that you must follow, especially in countries where their legal system is more effective and efficient. 
You just can't fall in love and not protect yourself from some pitfalls like being arrested, being caught in a suspicious acts or doing anything that the law frowns at, that will be exposing yourself to the inevitable. 
Concerning the second relationship, I feel that telling a lady indirectly to wait for three years was your own undoing. If your communication was as effective as you said, there's no way you wouldn't have noticed that there were some changes in her attitude towards you or her commitment to the relationship. 
While I won't commend her for playing with your emotions and deceiving you in the name of encouraging you to travel and come back later, I suggest that you accept it as God's own way of guiding you to your own wife. 
She is great, but she was not honest and sincere with you. She is beautiful but she never had a good heart towards you which is why she took all you had and got married to another man.
Though it maybe painful and devastating, you have to first forgive her and forge ahead with life. Do not allow your past experiences with some individuals to poison your heart towards ladies and relationship. 
Instead learn from your experiences and be careful, patient, and discerning when dating another lady. Do not allow what you see to push you into proposing to a lady, take your time and build healthy friendship with her, so that you can at least know who you are relating to, and then decide whether to get married to her or to move on with your life. 
Not all that glitters is gold, please do not be in a hurry. Marriage is too deep, and too demanding for you to hook up with the wrong partner. I feel that this is the best time to invite God in your life so that he will guide you and give you a lady who has all the virtues and skills that you need to prosper in your marriage 

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