Friday, August 12, 2016

I Love Her but I Don't Want to be a Fool.

Good day ma, I follow your works on Facebook and the way you answer the most confusing cases keep me dumbfolded! Grace ma.
Please, I have an issue with my relationship life ma.
I am 26 years and live and work at Lagos island. I hardly fall in love with ladies and get confused when people tell me they fall in love today and again next month. It baffles me.

There's this lady I know I eventually fell in love with. I asked her out the first time two years ago but she never really agreed, but was just been polite to me, and never gave me consent. 
I endured and after a while, I calmly told her off because I felt the love feeling wasn't two-sided. 
We keep in touch once in a while and it's almost two years and I still noticed the love is still stronger. I think she got into a relationship that didn't work out well. I really felt jealous that she could accept someone else and never considered me. I never mentioned that to her.
I was speaking to her one day, and spontaneously I asked her out again. That's unlike me. She never rejected like before but told me she wanted to pray. 
I was talking to her one day telling her how I felt about her but she made a statement that she doesn't actually feel the same way. It killed something in me. I am confused. I feel so bad. I have many ladies that will say yes to me without blinking. 
Two beautiful ones are indirectly asking me out but I don't feel love for them and I don't want to deceive them. What should I do, I so love her but I don't want to be a fool. I feel she has some affection for me, but I don't know what's holding her back. I will be leaving for Canada for my post graduate program and I feel this is the only chance to start with someone I love. 
Please, I need your advice ma...Thanks a lot for listening to me, I have never opened up like this before.

I'm proud of you for opening up to me and sharing your heart with me. In your quest to understand how some individuals get into the web of love or whatever you thought it was, you fell, and it seems like love is taking a huge toll on your emotions. 
Well, love is real and we are all her product. We can't deny love, we can't ignore our need for love nor can we prevent our heart from loving that special someone who makes the whole difference in our journey. 
Considering your mail, I feel that the lady you love is not necessarily attracted to you and as such have been looking for a polite way to bid you goodbye in spite of her not successful relationship. 
We are all attracted to different values, virtues, vision, personality, passion and physical appearance of individuals. We all have a mental picture of the kind of partner that our heart yearns for, and when such criteria is not met, some individuals find it difficult to adjust or adapt to what they have.
And it is humiliating to force your love on an individual who doesn't share the same feelings of love and affection with you. 
So maybe you should move on and simply wish her well in all her endeavours. There are some friends that are great for friendship but terrible for a relationship, maybe she's in that category and waiting for her will not do you any good. 
Every individual have admirers, but wise individuals don't just go for those who admire them because an admirer may not have the qualities that you desire to prosper in your marriage. So don't be carried away by the affection of those who admire your personality, instead be patient and take your time to build a healthy friendship with ladies so that you can sift the values that you desire and also understand how to communicate with ladies without scaring them away with your intentions. 
Don't be in a hurry to hook up with any lady because of your intentions to travel for your programme, remember that long distance relationship is demanding and meant for mature minds and not just anyone. 
Take your time, and let your heart guide you, when you meet a lady who shares the same convictions, vision and virtue with you, you won't need any extra effort to win her heart or struggle to convince her of your love for her.

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