Sunday, August 21, 2016

I'm Thinking of Leaving Him with my Children.

Hey Aunty Amara
First of all thank you so much for your help
My English is not good because I speak French but I hope you can understand me, please help me I need your opinion about my case
I am married, we have two kids together, but my problem is like this, my husband was born in Europe then he married me from Africa . When I came he had no money then, we started saving together and I was working.

This year he came with the idea of business in Africa and I agreed with him. He bought a big car and he filled up the container with the things which had a value of $50000. He sent them to my father and my uncle, the deal was to sell and send us the money, but they gave us $2500 only in seven months and they ate everything.
Now as we are talking, my husband, for two months, we don't sleep together, he moved to another room, and he is having an affair with my friend, even yesterday I caught them
Please tell me what to do. Yes I know my family deceived him but is not me. I tried to pay him back, I work sixteen hours a day, because he is not working anymore.
I am trying as hard as I can to put things in place like before, but every second he is like, 'your father he is stupid' and all bad names
Even I am tired now, imagine a woman working sixteen hours, seven days, it's not easy. I am 28 years old, imagine sleeping with your friends
Now I am thinking about leaving him with my children because I am afraid of HIV because here many African women are infected with HIV.
Please people tell me what to do, thanks for your kindness.

Please endeavour to protect yourself from contracting sexually transmitted infections during sexual intercourse with him. Maybe you should involve someone that he listens to or respects to intervene and find ways to comfort him and help him to recover from such a huge loss. 
He's only reacting to the pains and psychological trauma of investing his earnings and recovering only five percent of his investment, not considering the cost of transporting the goods.
He was only devastated by the way things turned out, and I guess that was what pushed him to become irrational and insensitive to your emotions and happiness. 
If he's comfortable with seeking counselling, please schedule a counselling session with him so that both of you can resolve this and be live as couple again. 
On your part, please apologise on behalf of your family and assure him that things will get better very soon. As for sleeping with your friend, please discuss with him and find out what lead him to doing such. Confront him and let him know how you feel about such actions hopeful that he will change for good.
I don't think that this is the best time to leave your marriage and your husband. I am hopeful that counselling and intervention from your relatives and his close friends will greatly help him recover from this loss. 

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