Saturday, August 20, 2016

Should I Leave Him for Someone Else?

Good evening ma.... Really in need of your advice....
Am a lady of 24 years, I have a boyfriend whom I love but the problem is he is broke and Nigeria economy isn't helping at all.. Okay don't get me wrong, I love him and neither am I the kind of lady who is enticed by money, but am super really in a tight corner..
My parents are having accommodation problem right now #meaning they are broke#...My boyfriend is a graduate, studied cinematography but jobs rarely come... Most times we survive on the little I get from my uncle (money meant for my school expenses)...He is a nice guy, I know he loves me too but I don't know... I need money urgently... Have school expenses to sought out. I believe he wouldn't be broke forever just a matter of time, but time is what I have not.. I pretend to friends that he spends on me but reverse is the case.. You know ladies things.. They would turn me into a gist if they discover the truth..
My boo is hard working but as you know times are very hard.. Rich getting richer, poor getting so poorer.. My uncle is already lamenting on how the expenses is killing him #He has really tried#...To cut the story short....I feel I need someone to help with the expenses...The weight is too much on me... He is trying but it isn't enough.. Expenses increasing everyday his and mine... I AM BROKE...No one to turn to.. Should I leave him for someone else??
I have lots of guys begging me to be their girlfriend, some want me as a wife... All are rich..Studying theater arts in school so rarely have time for myself let alone looking for job..Thanks to the regular rehearsals. Am soooo confused ma...I feel bad whenever I call my mum and she tells me how hungry she is... I feel terrible that I can't help... Please ma, what should I do??
P.S...Am in my final year in school and you know it entails enough spendings on things... My boyfriend works but gets little very little pay... Please advise me ma because am running out of my mind... Just felt the need to pour out my heart...Thanks ma!

I personally understand that you have huge need for financial assistance in your academics. I understand that things are not rosy at the moment, and I also appreciate your honesty and sincerity in your mail.
However, leaving your partner for a 'rich' partner is actually not the solution to your financial needs. Crushing the relationship that you have invested your life in for some thousands of naira which you need to probably complete your last semester in your school is not wise at all.
According to you, your partner have been supportive with his little stipends and you love him so much, so are you by your mail suggesting that if you have financial challenges, you will dump your partner for money? What if you were married and you had to battle with managing the challenges of your home with little or no funds, will leaving your marriage be the best option for you?
It's in hard times that our convictions are tested, it's also in difficult times that our true personality manifests. In as much as you may have reasons to be worried, and seek for help, have you also considered the consequences of going for a 'rich' partner? What if you have to do some dirty and demeaning things just so that you can get some money from him, will you have the peace of mind doing such? What makes you feel that every rich man who is asking you out will be generous to help you? What makes you feel that you cannot overcome in these little while you have in school?
If you need help and support, maybe you should consider the welfare department of your church, your offering is not only meant for opening new branches, it's also meant for welfare challenges as your academic support. Where your church is unable to assist you, you can fall back to few of your trusted friends. Amongst all your fake friends, there should be one, two or three individuals who are genuine, honest, real and supportive that you can talk to or seek help from in difficult times.
Even if all these options fail, you can consider some simple businesses that you can combine with your academics, you can consider encouraging your partner to combine his profession with some skills or hobbies that will generate good income while he awaits something bigger.
If your partner combines photography with his job, there's no way he won't have sufficient that will meet his needs in a month. Even if he can't afford getting a good camera, he can venture into some business so that he can meet his needs and also support you in his own little way.
What both of you need is financial capacity programmes so that you can solve your problems with your own earnings and not a partner who may exploit your circumstances and destroy everything that makes you a human.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you what you wished to hear, but if you leave your partner because of money, you never loved him or yourself.


  1. Good advice, but the way this lady sound, money is more important to her than the love n perseverance you preach

  2. Nice one from Amy. That your dating the guy does not mean that he will cater for all your needs. If you love him stay with him. No condition is permanent.


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