Friday, September 9, 2016

Can A Man Who Truly Love You Recommend You To Another Man?

Good evening ma, more grace to you, Amen. Please ma, there is this problem that have been giving me sleepless night and I want to know your opinion on this issue. There is this guy that I have been friends with for almost five years now, and all these years our friendship went smoothly, and full of understanding, love and care for each other. Though we started as casual friends and he always let me know that we are just friends and not lovers, though we like each other a lot and always confide in each other whenever we face challenges,
but deep inside me I know I truly love this guy and always wish that one day he will come for me, not knowing that he also love me as much as I do but refused to let me know as he said he was waiting for the right time to tell me, but everything went wrong when he recommended me to one of his kinsmen(umunna) whom he told me to be looking for a wife then I accepted for him to send my number to him and we started communicating and this his kinsman was acting so real as if he has known me for a long time, but I thought maybe that my friend has told him all about
me so I wasn't bothered about the behaviour and he has even come to know my place in the village but it happened so fast that I slept with him, and after that my friend was totally
disappointed in me because he trusted me so much, he told me that he can't even believe that I will stoop so low, that he never linked me up with this guy for any premarital sex, that he was even boasting of me but now I have quote him wrong and that was when I realized how much he valued and respected me. He confessed to me that he loved me but what happened is that he is not ready yet that's why he linked me up with that of his brother but has it in mind that if the marriage did not work out that he wouldn't have to look for another girl except me but now I have spoiled everything, and now even that of his kinsmen doesn't call me anymore neither do I. 
The truth is that the person I truly love is my friend not his brother(kinsman), but he never told me all these while that he loves me even when he bring up this issue, I asked him why did he want to give my number to another man but he still told me that we are just best of friends, then I rest my case knowing that there is no hope, I was even shocked when he was crying so bitterly that I broke his heart, I apologised to him for breaking his trust towards me. 
He told me that he has forgiven me but he will never have anything to do with me as he has planned, that if he marries me tomorrow he is not going to be comfortable whenever he remembers that his brother, that instead let us just remain friends but as it is now even our friendship has reduced greatly, it doesn't flow as before. 
I'm just confused, I don't know what to do or say or even believe, but can a person who truly loves you as he claims ever recommend you to someone else for any reason, not that he did it in a coded form at least I should have a reason that he wants to play game on me, but this one he did it openly and he was even the one guiding me. Please I can't just understand and please is there any alternative to redeem this relationship. Thanks.

That your best friend can best be described by these two words, a coward and a time-waster, and no lady needs such a man in her life. 
If he loved you so so much as he claimed, he won't recommend you to another man, and if for any reason he recommended you to another man, it simply means that he knows that you are a good lady, lovable lady but not good enough for him or not the kind of lady that he wish to marry. 
Having sex with a man you're dating is a normal thing that happen in a relationship, or would you have kept yourself for him if you were married to his kinsman? 
You decided to date his kinsman, and decided to sleep with him, so your best friend should respect himself and let you be. I feel that this is the time to move on with your life, and learn your lessons. Don't always give sex in the place of love, don't hang on with a best friend who have no intention or vision for the friendship. 
Your best friend said that he can't marry you or have anything to do with you, please respect his decision and move on with your life.

1 comment:

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