Thursday, September 8, 2016

The Shame is Too Much For Me To Bear.

I feel like killing myself now, the worst has happened to me. Have been dating this guy for a year now. I noticed some changes in his character, like not wanting to see me, telling me he's busy with work and all that. He called me two weeks ago and told me that we needed to talk that it's very important.
When he came, he started telling me of how his sister went somewhere and they told her that we can't get married, that the sister told him that they said we are not compatible.
I got angry and asked him why didn't they go to consult the man when we started, why is it now that we have gone far? Well I cried and decided to move on with my life. A week later, I missed my period and went for a test, was confirm eight weeks pregnant. I told him and he accepted to take responsibility, but that we can't get married and this is the guy that has been promising me marriage before now, he was even assuring me that once I get pregnant he will marry me.
The problem now is that I just discovered that this guy is married, had issues with his wife so he left and the house I used to go and visit him and even stay for some days was actually another house he rented.
He told me initially when we started that he has a son of about 10 years but he never married the mother and have met the son and his sisters. Please I don't know if to keep this baby or abort it because the shame is too much for me to bear.
My siblings knows him because he do come to our house, have told my mum about it and she asked me to leave the baby.

I know that you are in deep thoughts concerning what to do with this pregnancy, especially with the recent revelation that he's actually married and you were the obstacle that has prevented him from reuniting with his wife and family. 
From your mail, I feel that you were looking forward to conceiving for him because he promised to marry you once you get pregnant for him. So the real issue is not necessarily that you are pregnant for him but that he's actually married to another lady. 
On that note, please permit me to congratulate you for conceiving for him. Truth is, you're blessed amongst women and we have a bright and beautiful future in your baby. 
Now that you have realised that he deceived you, lied to you and used you as a stop-gap when he was having issues with his wife, I will suggest that you forgive yourself and not consider abortion. 
Though it's terrible, it's something that could have been avoided if you carried out some investigation on his personality before getting intimate with him. If you probed further into his children, you would have been informed that he's married and that would have saved you of all these stress and pains. 
Now that we're left with your baby, please do not tamper with that precious life because you have no idea what the consequences of such decision might be for you. Since the man accepted the responsibility for your pregnancy, I would suggest that you demand for funds to enrol for antenatal care and support so that you can take good care of yourself and your pregnancy. 
You may decide to relocate elsewhere where you're comfortable but please do not consider abortion, it's not an option for consideration. 
Though you didn't prepare for the pregnancy, you can decide to be a great mother to your child and nurture your baby to greatness. 
I know it may not be rosy and palatable for you but I will encourage you to choose to preserve a sacred and a precious child than for you to kill your baby.

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