Friday, September 9, 2016

How Do I Make The Whole Thing Work Out?

Good morning aunty Amara. I have been following your advice to people for a while now and I must confess, am really impressed.
I am a Corp member serving somewhere in the north. There is this girl I met during my camp days, we worked together in the same clinic and funny enough I don't know how it happened but we fell in love with each other. We have dated close to six months now and I must confess am really enjoying the relationship.
But recently she started telling me some stuff as regards marriage that she is getting old and perhaps need to settle down. We are of the same age 27...
I saw reasons in what she was saying and due to the fact that I really love her to marriage extent, I told her to keep calm that we will definitely get married when the time comes cos am really not ready for that now till maybe ending of next year. She accepted but the problem now is my church. I am a Catholic, she is a Jehovah's Witness . And from what I gathered they don't marry anybody that is not from their denomination which she is also constantly complaining of. In fact she said if that should happen that her parents won't come for the wedding.
I suggested to her that since she feels that the relationship is not leading us anywhere that we should better break up before it becomes late, but ma to be sincere I love her and don't wish to break up with her but I really want to see her happy.
On her own part, she wants to keep the relationship going cos she loves me and it would tear her apart breaking up with me. I won't definitely attend her church either. I don't know what else to do ma, I just need your candid advice to make this whole thing work out.

Both of you can work your way through the church and parental perception of other church if both of you wish to get married to each other.
If she's worried about her parents not attending her wedding, you can play the blind man here, wed in her church to please her parents and after the wedding take your wife to your church.
Of course you need to let her know that you won't attend her church nor will you accept her attending Jehovah's witness after wedding. If she's comfortable with that, both of can continue with the relationship but if she's not comfortable with your suggestions, then both of can agree on any other church and settle for it after all the ceremonies.
But where you fail to reach a compromise, and you don't share the same spiritual compatibility, then you may need to bid her goodbye and trust God for your own wife.
Please don't allow anyone to put you under pressure to get married, let her understand that you need to put your house in order before getting married, and if she can't wait for you, then she can go ahead and marry the man that is available for her.

1 comment:

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