Monday, September 5, 2016

I Am Broken, Torn And So Scared.

Please talk to me, talk to me.
I know you have severally told me to leave this abusive marriage... I have made up my mind to move with my kids today.
Last night he complained that I left his football kits outside without washing, I was furious and screamed that he has anger issues, besides there has been no water for days.

He charged at me, dragging same ear that is damaged... I was screaming in pains and hitting him off, when he gave me a huge blow on my head. I almost passed out.
In a bid to escape the house he began twisting my arm to unwrench the keys, while I was screaming to alert neighbours (nobody came though, never have)..
His whole life savings is under my account in MMM, I intend taking out the money he borrowed my mum(N200,000), use N100000 for I and the kids and return back the rest...
Please give me coping strategies, I am broken, torn and so so scared.
My elder brother is expecting me.

Better to leave with a damaged ear and broken heart than to lose your life in the name of marriage. 
I am trying so hard to be sympathetic but I just can't because you have personally caused me more pains than you can possibly imagine. Read»» Am I Abused?
It's okay to tell me that you're dying and I will prayerfully plead that you save yourself from an abusive partner, but it really hurts to see you choose abuse over safety. 
Since you have decided to leave, I thank God for saving your life. When you get to your brother's house, please kneel down and thank God for saving your life. Perhaps we could have seen pictures of a lady that was killed by her husband but God in his mercies intervened. 
Thank God because he is the only one who averted what the devil had in mind. Study the Bible to strengthen your heart and soul, then worship God with songs and praises because truly we are celebrating the salvation of your soul and your life. 
Get motivational and inspirational books and read them. They will spur you into believing in yourself and building your self esteem and confidence. 
Identify a Bible believing church where you and your children can worship and attend their programmes. Avoid seeking for sympathy because you may end up getting criticisms than sympathy. 
Nobody else but you knows what you're experiencing in your marriage, so avoid any sentimental suggestions and opinions for you to return to your husband. 
In an abusive marriage, there's always a need for both parties to meet with a psychiatrist and a marriage counsellor to help examine their personality and find out how to avoid physical violence and abuse in the marriage. 
Also there is a need for your family and his family to meet so that they can discuss this and have a written agreement with your husband before you may consider going back to him. 
There is a need to report to the police, the welfare, and also sign an undertaken in the presence of witnesses that he will never raise his hands on you. 
In an event where these and many other reconciliation processes are not employed, it's suicidal and dangerous for you to return back to him. 
You will need to get something doing so that you can take care of your needs and the needs of your children. No need to lament about not having a job or enough money because that's not the most important thing now. 
With time, you will readjust to your normal life and will realise that life is better without physical violence. 
Just so you know, there will be times when you will feel lonely, when you will feel down or weak or unloved, but as long as your heart is focused on giving your life to your children and bringing out the best in them, you will always bounce back. 
I pray that God will help you and give you the grace to succeed in your journey. 

1 comment:

  1. And pls dont invest on that MMM it is fraud ooo, google about them he ran away from south Africa after duping them and he is in 9ja to do the same, ppl wont hear now, pls go and withdraw your money there, soon 9ja will cry over this. and pls go back to ur brothers house, ur life is more important than that marriage, before u cry hard i know thats if u will be alive to tell ur story.


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