Monday, September 5, 2016

Should I Inform My Family of His Job Loss?

Good evening, ma. Thanks for all the advice and counseling you have been showering on us. Ma, please I have a problem that is disturbing me. I am done with my NYSC and engaged to the best man in the world. We have done the introduction and bride prize in August, and planning for the white wedding by November.

But due to the economy in the country, he was among those that was dropped in his company. He confided in me, and has been pleading that I should not tell my family and also his family about it, cos he is the bread winner and breaking the news to the mum might affect her.
I am very confused now. I know everything will be better with time. But if I don't tell my family, what if they finds out? Should I just keep it to myself and be praying to God for a better tomorrow?
Why is it happening now? I know God is not asleep and he will see us through. Aunty, please help me out with your advice and also your prayers.

Since he has already paid the bride prize and have fulfilled all the traditional wedding rites, both of you are already married, and you're experiencing the tests and trials of your convictions in your marriage.
White wedding is just an icing on your cake and you shouldn't because you haven't wedded act as though you're still single and thinking about whether to continue with him or not.
You are a full-fledged married woman, and this is not the best time to expose the circumstances of your marriage to your parents, unless /except they're going to provide an alternative for him.
If your purpose of informing your family is to scare them or give them reasons to discourage you from staying with him, then I don't think that you should inform your family about that, and if you know that informing them will frustrate your marriage or make them feel discouraged, please do not inform them. If they find out, they will still respect your decision and support you in their own little way knowing that marriage is not a perfect square but a journey filled with so many uncertainties of life.
This is the best time to look inwards and think of the things both of you can do to raise funds and build your family. This is also going to help both of you cut down on your wedding budget or expenses so that you can maximise your savings and invest for the future.
If you planned for an expensive wedding, please cut it down to the barest minimum and remove the frivolous and unimportant activities for the day. Work closely with your husband and get every support that you can to help you spend less and save more.
Hopefully after wedding both of you can think of other ways to create wealth and meet your needs as a family. That he was dropped by his company doesn't mean that he won't rise again even in this economy, it only means that he needs to re-strategize and reorganise himself so that he can utilise the information, exposure and experience that he acquired in his previous company to create wealth.
I pray that God will provide all that your need according to his riches in glory, and that he shall give you the wisdom, the grace, the virtues, and the maturity that you need to support your husband and help him overcome this phase of your marriage.

1 comment:

  1. I don't really know your reason for wanting to tell your parents but I know that you are worried about how you will cope especially with the dwindling economy. I just want to encourage you not to give up on your husband, keep praying for him and with him. I went through the same situation. In my own case, we met in June,2013 and by October,2013 he lost his job. That same October he came for the introduction and by November, we did our traditional marriage(He still had no job as at the time we did our traditional wedding oh). There were times i thought i brought bad luck into his life but i quickly brushed the thought aside and kept on believing in God. By April 2014, we did our white wedding with him having no job(God provided the money for the wedding and it was beautiful, nothing extravagant just beautiful). I was working but wasn't earning much. I got pregnant immediately and i had to stay with my parents for the 1st year of my marriage. It wasn't easy but God was faithful. I kept praying for my husband that something will come up but it didn't happen as fast as we wanted. He had to use his car for commercial service just so he could feed. There were days I broke down and cried but God saw me through. The birth of our daughter opened doors for us. I had my daughter in January,2015 and my husband got his job back in February.2015. After our baby's dedication in April,2015 I resigned my job and moved to Ogun State to stay with my husband and by September that same year, I got another job where my husband works and we've been together since. So my dear, don't allow fear of the unknown future to make you lose your blessing. Instead, entrust that unknown future to the all-knowing God and watch Him guide you into that beautiful future He has prepared for you. His grace will be sufficient for you.


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