Monday, September 5, 2016

He Doesn't Satisfy Me Any Longer.

Good morning ma, hope your night was good? Please ma I need your advice on this issue bothering me. I met my husband last year December, and we got married traditionally this April, planning our white wedding this November by God's grace.
My husband loves and cares for me so much, I love him too but the challenge am facing now is our sexual life.

During our courtship, we didn't really explore on sex but the few times we did, I was okay and satisfied, but after our traditional wedding I noticed he was not as active as I thought, he doesn't satisfy me any longer.
We live and work in different states so we get to meet only on weekends(every two weeks precisely). During those times we are not together he would call and tell me how he has missed me and how he is going to kill me on bed when we meet, when we finally meet, maybe out of excitement he'll only stay for one to two minutes and then cum, then he'll feel sorry and ashamed but I'll tell him no problem that he'll stay longer in the next one, he'll promise also to make it up me in the next one which we hope will be the next morning, but ma, the truth is that he won't touch me again until I leave (normally leaves on Monday morning).
The one that surprised me was this weekend, we haven't seen for more than a month now because I was pregnant, so we decided since the roads are bad I should stay while he comes to pick me any weekend he has chance. Ma, for us not to see for such a long time, I was thinking he won't spare me on bed this weekend, at least we'll do it twice or more before I leave, but he only touched me just on that Friday I arrived, and as usual he stayed not up to two minutes and released, I felt bad but he promised to make it up to me the next morning, which he didn't.
This Monday morning, he woke me up to go and start preparing so I started playing with his penis until it was erect and was very strong, at that time I was hoping he'll cooperate, instead he got up from the bed and said "baby let's pray" he started singing praises, I felt so bad and ashamed at the same time, I became scared, fear of the unknown, fear of how my future with him will be. I started remembering how I used to go for second and third round with my ex before we broke up. Ma please I need your help, I don't know if there's something wrong somewhere, I don't know if our age gap has contributing factors, I'm 31 and he's 45.
I'm a very neat person, in fact my friends gave me names as regards to my neatness. But I wonder why he cannot give me head. Before we got married, we discussed it and he said he has never done that before but he'll do it to me because he loves me, but ma he only did it twice during our courtship and never repeated it since we got married. He keeps promising he'll do it in our next lovemaking.
Please help us, talk to him too because I will show him to read.. Thank you ma for your patience, remain blessed!

I understand how frustrating and painful it can be for you to be expecting a hot, explosive session with your husband and you end up experiencing a terrible session where he just releases sperm on you as though he's dropping an object in the waste bin. 
From your mail, there is little or no connection in your love session, there is no communication, foreplay seems to be buried and even the rough sex isn't even handy. 
Your husband seems to be pretty afraid and has reduced sexual intimacy to promises of a better sex, but in reality it's nothing close to being good. 
I understand how you feel but you don't need to give up or feel that sex won't be good between you and your husband. Just like you can now experience that sex before marriage doesn't necessarily guarantee great sexual performance in marriage because there are so many factors and experiences of life that can affect a man's sexual expression in marriage. 
Please under no circumstances should you compare your sexual intimacy with your husband with that of your ex. It is so so terrible to place your husband under the same pedestal with your ex, and this has the potential to destroy your marriage. 
Your husband's penis and that of your ex is different, your husband's perception of sex and that of your ex is different, and if sex was all you needed, I'm pretty certain that you won't be writing to me because you would have been experiencing an explosive sexual intimacy like no other, but because marriage is so much more, you chose your husband. What I am going to do is help both of you create a sexual haven that each of you will be proud of, and a sexual experience that will satisfy your deepest sexual needs. 
I wish I could lie to you but the reality is that just as women experience menopause and some sexual frustrations when they're within the age of 40 years and above, men also experience sexual frustrations when they are within the age of 40 and above. It doesn't mean that they can't satisfy you but it means that you will do a little more appreciation, support, patience, romance and advances to help them revive their youthful strength for sex. The way a 25 years old man approaches sex may be quite different from the way a 45 years old man will approach sex, but in all the woman in the bed has a great role to play to unleash the dragon in him. 
So stop waiting for him to cooperate with you and go out and collaborate with him so that you can enjoy sex with him. There is nothing wrong with the lady taking the driver's seat, you're not disrespecting him if you mount on him and direct his penis inside your vagina, you're only driving the ministry to the permanent site. 
Just as you started romancing his penis, you saw the results, if you took things a little bit hotter and rocked him to the bed, surely he won't start singing praises and worship, but he will definitely dance to the rhythm of your passion, and both of you will end up worshipping God together without shame or fear. 
You told me all that your husband is not doing, but let me ask, when last did you give your husband a blow job(licking his sweet penis)? When last did you give him an exotic massage? When last did both of you have a steamy sex in the shower? When last did you wake him up to breastfeed him just before the baby arrives? When last did you make a thoughtful plan for sex with your husband? How's your sex wears like? We have church wears, work wears, casual wears, but most ladies don't invest in sex wears because to them as long as they're married, if the husband wants sex, he has to untie the wrapper. 
That shouldn't be the case, men love packaging and how a lady packages herself boosts the sexual hormones of her husband for sex. A man doesn't care whether you your breast is sagging or whether you have stretch marks on your laps, his first concern is how you packaged your breast. 
When you go to be with him, please get some seductive wears and make sure that you dress up in a manner that will leave him touching your body carelessly and longing to be with you. You can buy bright and colourful singlets and panties that have flowers or something lovely, I mean we need to get his mind thinking about you all the time. 
It's not a sin to give your husband a lap dance or to lie on top of him or express yourself by grabbing his penis or scrotum as you wish, he's your husband and he belongs to you. So be creative and let's see how things will go from there. 
When you're preparing his meal, please avoid food that contains so much cholesterol or sugar, prepare more of vegetables, fruits and vitamins. You can prepare fruit juice with moringa seed or garlic and white onions. They're natural detoxifiers and they boost the blood flow to the penis. 
When your husband is making love to you, you can reach out to his scrotum and caress his testes or grab his buttocks or romance his buttocks with tender care. 
When lands before the time, don't lose hope but massage him and caress him, it will reduce his refraction time and help him recover for a second round of sex which usually lasts longer than the first round. 

To your husband 
I must first commend you for how you support your wife and take good care of her. I know that you are giving your best to make sure that she's happy and fulfilled with you, I know that it's really a hard work to satisfy a woman but since God said that you have all it takes (down below lol) to make her scream your name and prepare pounded yam for you, well I will only encourage you not to give up or run away from this gorgeous beautiful chocolate wife God has blessed you with all because of sex. 
I believe that you are faithful to her and that you genuinely want to meet her sexual needs, I observed that you have been giving so many promises to your wife on how you wish to make her get to the moon and back, how you wish to last for hours and make her enjoy sex like she hasn't in the past. 
The truth is that everyone desires sexual satisfaction in marriage and when a woman is pregnant, her sexual desire increases, so please just keep that in mind and don't discourage your wife from desiring sex with you because you're the only one she longs to be with. 
Sex is not just giving promises, it's actually an on the job training and it is a serious business because the moment you are not doing your part and your wife is not doing her part, the devil will maximise the vacuum and destroy your marriage. 
First, please watch what you eat, if you consume so much alcohol or energy drinks or carbohydrates, please minimise your consumption rate, if possible please quit them. If you smoke, though I don't have the right to tell you to stop but for the sake of your sexual prowess, please curtail the habit. If you don't exercise yourself and you're already adding weight, please work on that so that you will be fit for sex. 
Eat more of vegetables, minerals, fruits and less of carbohydrates and exercise regularly.
When you wish to make love to your wife, please calm down, I mean she's now your wife and not your girlfriend so don't be in a hurry or afraid of anyone bumping into your room, it's legal and it's your right. Start with foreplay, take time to build a bond with your wife before you connect your penis to her vagina. Her breast is not for your baby alone, that's why God brought it out so that you can enjoy before the arrival of your baby. Please suck with all gentility and to your satisfaction, remember she's your wife and I'm certain that she will guide you on how to get the job done. Foreplay wakes the body of a lady and prepares her for penetrative sex. Please make sure that she's wet or well lubricated for thrusting before you go on to thrust into her vagina.
Sir, though some women may not be able to explain the secret behind the clitoris and the vagina as a whole, the truth is that the sweetest of all sweetness resides in her vagina (the honey pot). This is where the largest number of nerve cells is connected and just by offering to lick her vagina and her clitoris, you would have done half of the job. Your fear that she will give you infections is not true as long as she's clean and faithful to you, so don't just promise to, please be kind enough to practice it and who knows, you may enjoy it yourself. 
There's also something called the g-spot, it's like the roof of the clitoris and you can access it by inserting one or two of your fingers inside her vagina and making a signal of 'come here', please remember to trim your nails and keep them neat and clean, and you may end up taking her to the moon and back. 
When you're about to lunch into penetrative sex, I will suggest that you start gradually and increase your pace with time, avoid breathing so fast, take a deep breath and take things slowly, remember that you are not impressing anyone but giving your wife sexual healing. Target your penis to hit her clitoris and her g-spot as you thrust and observe to know whether she's enjoying the sunshine of your penis. 
Doggy style and improved missionary position will greatly help you target these two erotic zones in her body. 
If you are not able to control the flow, then I will suggest that both of you consider the reverse cowgirl position where your wife will be on top thereby giving her the vantage position to determine the depth, the pace and the angle of thrusting. 
Don't be scared or ashamed of trying out something new in your sex room because of the quick ejaculation, no man became a stud by running away from on the job training on sex. The more sex you have, the more you learn how to have sex in a better way with greater confidence. 
And I must tell you that it is a sin against your wife for your wife to desire sex and you shun her by telling her 'baby let us pray'. That may sound as a joke but the truth is that no matter what you pray or fast, if your wife is not in agreement with you, your prayers is a waste of time. 
If she desires sex, please suspend prayers and satisfy her sexual needs so that both of you can worship, sing and pray with one voice and one body. Just as it won't be cool for you to desire sex and your wife will tell you that she's fasting, that's exactly how it's not good for your wife to crave for your penis and you make her look like a sinner.
If you are comfortable with talking to me, I will definitely love to hear from you so that we can discuss further on this. 
I hope that you will give your wife one more reason to celebrate you as the hero of her life. 
I believe that you can be better in your bedroom, so go back to work, your wife needs more sex. 

1 comment:

  1. Only issues like ds u show ur real self, u were Married and thinking of divorce....until it 1st husband dies,call n know u are into an adulterous union called marriage with Papa that carried u to USA bcoz of Green card...


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