Sunday, September 25, 2016

Not Sure Of The Relationship Anymore.

Good day ma, I thank God for your life and ministry.  I am 26 years old and currently a graduate student, am in a distance relationship. I live in Uyo while my  boyfriend  lives in Abuja. We started dating early this year after a failed engagement. He was so sweet and understanding but recently I can't say the same.
First time I visited, I paid for my flight there and back, the day I left he gave me N5,000 explaining that he's financially down.
I accepted the money and told him I understand. When I got to my base he started complaining about my not doing his laundry, I simply explained that I was a bit sick cause I stressed myself with lots of work to cover up for the days I will be away... He reluctantly accepted the explanation but kept telling me how his ex does this and that....
Fast forward to my second visit. When I was to make the trip, I was broke, couldn't afford transport so I told him am broke and the little cash I have that am contemplating using it for school issues, and if I use it for the trip I won't have another for my school issue. He responed by saying he has seen girls using their school fees on guys, I am not committed to the relationship, that's why am having second thought using the cash for transport.
We got into a fight because of the statement, I also asked him if he has not seen guys buying cars for their girlfriend. He later apologised and offered to pay for the trip but will have to use road because of limited cash. When I arrived I decided to correct all he complaints about doing his laundry, cook and clean the house.
My boyfriend works in a hotel, he once told me about a female colleague who according to him has been eyeing him. I asked if he has anything with her and he said no, that the girl has been pushing herself on him. When I asked what he has done about it, he said he told her he's engaged.
Back to when I visited I noticed he was avoiding a particular call to the extent of switching off his mobile network. I checked his phone and discovered it was the female colleague he told me about. I asked him why he  rejected the calls, his response was that the girl has been disturbing with calls... I just told him if he doesn't have anything with her, he shouldn't have any problem taking the call and nothing is hidden under the sun and we both laughed about it.
The next day he received a call and told the person that I am around. When I asked who it was, he said it was same female colleague and I asked what she wants, he said she wants to take him out.
I collected the phone from him and asked her if she's taking both of us or just my guy, she pretended not to hear. Next thing I heard was a knock on the gate, I went out and saw her by the door. Immediately I called my guy to come see his guest which he came out and opened the gate for her. I went ahead to the kitchen to check what I had on the fire, on my way back I met her by the door she just said good bye to me . My guy went out with her and stayed for twenty to thirty minutes.
Later I asked what the incident was about, he said nothing. I kept insisting till he told me they went out once just to sit and talk. After the sit out she asked to know where he lives so he brought her home and almost had sex with her but later stopped.
Ma, I was really hurt by this revelation because this is a man that earns less than N100000, he doesn't  spend on me other than recharge card once in a while and am ready to grow with him and make all the wealth in this world with him.
Pls make advice me, I have forgiven him but am not sure of the relationship again
NB: I am not only a student I do little business here and there to sponsor myself in school. Have spoken to some of his siblings and mum. They are all nice to me

Let me tell you the truth that your partner is avoiding, he's simply dating his colleague and is using you as a stop-gap to spice up his game.
They're already intimate and he's comfortable with her, the very reason why he left you to plead for her forgiveness and understanding.
I don't know if you have forgiven him or not, or whether you love him so much, but I feel that you shouldn't sweep this under the carpet to avoid disappointment and regrets later on in your relationship.
The choice whether to continue being deceived and manipulated by him is totally yours but a man who is not trustworthy, honest, truthful and faithful is not the kind of man that you need to invest your emotions and heart to.

1 comment:

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