Saturday, October 29, 2016

Did I Ruin His Ministry?

Morning ma'am, please I need your advice.
There is this man I met two months ago, he is a barrister and into ministry too (he goes to schools and churches to minister). We're friends cos he never told me anything (we just met in the bank and we exchanged numbers). We have been talking on phone since then.

He called me to come and I went, him too visited me too. This guy still talks about other ladies, was telling me of a lady that he met, that he loves her, that she is too pretty and all that. But something happened, he called me on Wednesday around 10pm that he wants to come around, that all he wants is a kiss and a hug then he will go.
Ma, this man came and ended up sleeping in my house but we didn't have sex cos he knows that am a virgin but other things happened like smooching and caressing but he nearly raped me. After everything he started apologising that he never knew what came over him, that I should forgive and pray for him, and also pray that God should give him his wife(he is 35 years). He left the next morning and only called that day but has not called again.
Ma am feeling guilty, cos I feel he might be saying that I ruined his ministry. I have asked God to forgive me and also forgive him. Ma I love this man and will like to spend the rest of my life with him if he ask. But he is not saying it, all he says is that am his very good friend.
Ma what will I do for him to start calling again. Am so angry with myself. Ma did I do anything wrong? Am a nurse and am 27. Thank you

As a nurse you naturally have the desire to care for your 'patients', so I understand why you allowed him to come around so that you can help him discharge the sexual tension in him. 
The plain truth is that he's actually not in love with you, he only sees you as a nurse who can help him when he's in 'need' of kissing, smooching, sucking, and caressing your body. 
You were not the one that destroyed his ministry, that is whatever it is the ministry is about. He thought about it in his heart, connected the dots, contacted you, and walked into your room with his two legs. You didn't seduce him or rape him or perhaps send a nude picture of yourself to him, rather he was led by his own heart desire, and he got what he wanted. 
For a man to share how he's collecting the numbers of ladies, and how he loves them with you is a simple indication that you're only his good friend and nothing else. 
Since he asked you to pray that God will give him a wife after meeting you, it's pretty obvious that you're not the one he's looking for. 
So there's no need to raise your hopes by expecting his proposal or desiring to marry him, because you will only be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Don't feel angry with yourself, on a lighter note I will advise that you limit your nursing activities to the hospital to avoid nursing a man that may end up giving you more than you can carry as a single lady. 
Since he's praying for a wife, also make out time to pray for your own husband, and leave him to worry about his ministry and his future.
I will also suggest that you quit every communication with him and give him some space to help him decide what he wants in his life and ministry.

1 comment:

  1. I think that every matured man needs to get his priorities right. Young ladies that know their onions should help care for their man, in positive ways. Help him preserve his consecration by telling him off as soon as he mutters something against what you know him for.


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