Am happily married for three years now with a beautiful daughter and caring husband. I feel happy as a married woman but I feel there are areas I don't feel fulfilled and that's why I have come.
Am married to a man who gave his life to God in his teen age (18 years). He never had girlfriend, he didn't have a sister cos they are all boys, he didn't have any other social life aside church life and was an ardent born again.
We met in my church and he picked interest and we began talking. I noticed some things I wasn't comfortable with like he not the too joking type, he didn't know how to treat a woman, if he offends you and say sorry, he will want you to accept it immediately without doing shakara like a woman naah(**na u sabi), he doesn't know how to tell someone sweet words etc. So I told him my findings and he pleaded to change giving reasons for not having a sister and girlfriend. He loved me so much and was ready to adjust where I wasn't comfortable and is still adjusting. I loved him too cos he is gentle, sincere child of God, matured in reasoning, and homely.
But ma am not fulfilled in our lovemaking life, we courted for two year without sex cos we agreed we were not going to do it and God helped us. There was a day during our courtship he gave me a sharp kiss, I noticed he didn't know how to kiss. Honestly ma on our honeymoon night he was so excited that he didn't know where to start and as time went, he was learning how to go about it.
Ma most times I will be the one doing all the romance and he will be enjoying it, I have constantly taught him where and where to touch but he is always in a hurry. I have always dreamt of times my husband will so romance and make me feel like a woman but the more I dream of such to come the farther it seems. It has so degenerated to the point that I don't have urge for it again but I don't deny him, I love being real and that's why I can't fake my husband's inability to take me to the skies. How do I manage his imperfections, I want to be happy.
What your husband needs is sex education but what I can't tell is if he will be comfortable with you being his anchor in this because after teaching and guiding him, he may start raising dangerous prayer points for you.
There are some men who feels that sex is all about locating the vaginal opening, inserting the penis, pumping, pumping, and as soon as they release the sperm, they sleep off. They don't have interest in any form of foreplay because to them, it's a waste of time and it doesn't make sense to them.
They ask questions like, how will I be sucking the breast that is meant for babies, forgetting that he's the first baby that God gave to his wife to breastfeed. They are like how will I waste my time caressing, romancing, kissing and telling her I love you when she already knows that and his penis can't wait any longer. They are like why give a woman a head? Is it godly, and must I use my tongue?
These kinds of men abound and if you are married to one, you will need to be creative, patient, and tolerant to help him understand the art of sexual intimacy and bring out the sexual prowess in him.
Some of them have crude perception of sex as the things of the world and something that shouldn't be enjoyed by couples. For some, they were inhibited by religious beliefs and family upbringing that paints a derogatory picture of sex and sexual intercourse.
So your first assignment is to talk about sex with your husband outside the bedroom. What I mean is that in your daily discussion with him, raise the issue of sex, find out what he feels or thinks about sex, find out why he's not creative and real in bed, find out why he's always in a hurry to make love to you when he can be real, patient, and at the same time enjoy sex with him.
Let him know that sexual enjoyment between couples is not a taboo, in fact God designed the penis in such a manner that it can shake the world of a woman and make her imagine heaven on earth. What that means is that God understands the sexual needs of a woman which is why he structured the penis in such a manner.
Tell him to learn to calm down, and take things slowly so that both of you can enjoy mutual ecstasy in your bedroom.
After talking about sex with him, try to help him in the bedroom. Whenever he's in a hurry to penetrate, grab the penis and tell him, honey let's get the nipples standing, please wake my body up, my baby girl is not rejoicing yet, and my honeypot is not wet. Play with his balls and give him some kisses, observe his attitude and let him know how much you want him to have the best of you.
If after talking about sex with him and guiding him on how he can make you feel like a woman, then you may need to encourage him to write to me so that I can have a word or two with him, and I will be delighted to attend to him.
It's a gradual process, one that will take some time for him to adjust to. If he's willing to learn from you and understand the rhythm of your body and soul, both of you will definitely be in paradise of sexual pleasure.
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