Aunty good evening, aunty please I really need your help.
Since my husband had sex with me for the first time, I have seen sex as the most painful and ugly thing. I lost my virginity on May but I'm happy it was done by my husband but since then I hated sex that I don't like thinking about it
My husband is a very huge man and to me he has a big and long penis that made it very difficult to enter inside me and anytime he tried to, I will feel like dying in the next one minute and the only thing I could do was to push him away. This kept on happening until he travelled back to where he lives.
Now in this month he's going to pay my bride prize and I've got no reasons to say no to him when he demands for sex. I have been thinking about this for a long time and decided to tell you about it so you can help me out
I hope you and your family are doing great?
We're doing great, thanks for your concern.
I understand that you live by faith and declare the future that you desire, but when it comes to marriage, if he hasn't paid your bride prize, he's not your husband but your partner. It would have been perfect if you waited for him to pay for your bride prize before exploring the world of sex.
I understand what you explained and I can tell you that sex is not as painful and terrifying as you described in your mail.
Though big and long penis can be uncomfortable especially if your partner is not patient and kind enough to be gentle and slow with you. It's also possible that you were not well lubricated for a penetrative sex before he started thrusting in your vagina. Or that you have a yeast infection which makes sexual intercourse painful for you. It can also be because of your fear and perception of sex being painful and uncomfortable which has made it difficult for you to relax and allow him guide you into the world of your sexual paradise.
I will suggest that you consider talking to your partner about your pains during sexual intercourse. Let him know what you go through and then ask him to give you some time to readjust to his penis size so that you can enjoy lovemaking with him.
Let him spend more time with foreplay and prepare your body for sexual intercourse before thrusting. Let him spend time helping you to relax your mind and body, he can go ahead and kiss you, suckle your breast, lick your clitoris and caress your legs and buttocks before thrusting.
If you notice that you are not well lubricated, which means that your body didn't produce enough wetness for thrusting, please apply a water based lubricant on the shaft of his penis and then on the lips of your vagina, then encourage him to take things slowly while he gently fondle your body.
If you experience any excruciating pains and discomfort, please encourage him to stop and seek for medical attention.
You should also know that first time sex can be a little painful and uncomfortable as a result of the hymen which is broken and the vagina readjusting to the new task ahead.
So get a water based lubricant and keep it handy, if possible rule out every form of infections by going for a swab analysis. Then talk about sex with him and take things a step at a time, if things persist, then you may need to consult a doctor.
With time, patience and open mind, you will enjoy sexual intercourse with him and even after child birth, his penis will still feel the tightness of your vagina.
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