Saturday, October 1, 2016

I'm Battered, Helpless, and Tired of Marriage.

Good evening Ma, I was referred to you by my sister in-law. My marriage is not up to a year yet and I'm finding it burdensome. I work in a small establishment and as such I don't earn big figures. My wife's complaints are a little too much and she wants to leave the marriage. Ours was not love at first sight. We hardly dated for a month before we decided to get married. A mistake I swore not to make as a bachelor. 

Now I'm troubled physically and emotionally and as much as I try to be a better man and husband I found out that I'm gradually turning into a monster. This is not who I want to be. This is against my core values and belief. I feel I have made the biggest mistake of my life and no matter how much I try to salvage the situation, its getting worse everyday. Please help me. I can't hold on anymore. Money is the root cause and we both have a flaring and raging temper. Add my wife's abusive mouth to it and you will agree its a recipe for disaster! I learnt all these too late! I'm 32 and she is 29. We are childless and both battling infertility. I'm tired , battered and feel helpless.

I pray for divine peace in your marriage in Jesus name Amen. 
Please take things a little bit easy on yourself and calm down your nerves. The beginning of every new marriage comes with its own peculiarities, highs, and lows. For some it may be dramatic and for some it maybe chaotic but it's not beyond redemption if both partners are willing to humble themselves and give their heart to make their marriage stand. 
Money is not necessarily the root cause of your marital challenges but varied expectations between you and your wife. 
Perhaps she expected so much from you and was disappointed, and as a result disrespects, abuses, and insults your personality. On your own part, you may have created an environment that was tense, non conducive which fueled her emotions, coupled with the pressure to conceive, everything seems to be in chaos. 
In less than three months of marriage, I feel that (based on the limited information available) it's too early to pump yourself with such pressure and tension to have a child. I feel that both of you should relax and understand the temperament, emotions, personality and the weaknesses of each other.
Learn to listen more, learn more, and talk less. Ask for more clarifications and make little or no assumptions. As a man, try as much as you can not to exchange words with your wife but when she's provoking you to anger, please leave the environment for another place to avoid violence. 
Please pray with your wife, and pray for her too. Study the word of God together with her and be extremely patient with her. 
When a lady is searching for a child, she may act in an unstable and disturbing manner, but it's your duty to calm her emotions and help her find comfort in your arms.
Whenever a lady nags, there's a pressure on her shoulder that is weighing her down, find out what that pressure might be and support her in your own little way. 
Both of you can make this marriage work if both of you are willing to humble yourselves and support each other in your marriage. 
Just like I have already suggested, please encourage your wife to write to me. I am hopeful that the issues that you raised and some of the unwritten issues will be addressed.


  1. I prayed that God will see you both through in Jesus name Amen

  2. I prayed that God will see you both through in Jesus name Amen


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)