Saturday, October 1, 2016

Should I Continue With Him?

Good evening ma, I have your messages and advice to people, and I also need your advice on this issue, am sorry ma but this post maybe long.
I met this man three months ago, we started dating, after sometime he took me to his parents an told them that he wants to marry me, am 24 years an he is 31 years. I spend most of my days in his house until I started telling myself that staying in his house is becoming too
much and I started trying to go back to the house my company gave me, and he said NO that he prefers me staying with my aunty, but I insisted on going back to my house. We argued about it but later he accepted because my sister will stay with me. 
We always argue, now he lost his job on the 5th of September being Monday, and I was supposed to leave his house Tuesday but because of what happened I extended to the next day and my product was to come that Wednesday. When he came that Tuesday he used abusive words on me because I locked the door which made me very angry cos I only wanted to surprise him with my presence. 
The next morning I left so that I can attend to my product, I still called him later, he still used an abusive word on me and we ended the call angrily. I called again the next day and also on the Friday and he never called on Saturday and on Sunday cos I did not call. 
So on Monday I called him, he was telling me that I left him cos he lost his job, that am teaching him a lesson and that he is learning fast. I wanted to talk but he ended the call so I sent him a text 'that he can learn whatever lesson he chooses to learn that I never left because he lost his job'. We never spoke again until after a week, I called him an asked him if he is still interested in the relationship, he said that 'if am in that he is in but if am out that he is out' 
Ma to cut the whole story short, I called him to settle our differences yesterday, we discussed and I apologised for being far from him when he needed me, but he gave me a condition that I should go back home and think if I still want him or not, seeing how arrogant he is that he can give me a month or even a year if I still want him I should come back
but if I don't I can move on with my life, he would not mind.
Ma please should I still continue with this young man cos this is a person that does not admit his faults, he believes he can get any kind of woman he wants at will and he even told me once that if am not ready to abide by what he says that the door is open for me to go. Please ma am in a cross road now.

I won't be able to tell you exactly what to do but these questions will guide you in making the best decision on this.

Are you happy in your relationship and with him? 
Are you at peace with him? 
Ever since you started dating him three months now, is he really your friend? 
Can you say that his presence has been a blessing to you or are you going down and down in the relationship?
How does this relationship improve your emotional, psychological, spiritual and mental wellbeing? 
Does he possess those qualities that you desire in your husband?
For how long will you continue to beg for you to be relevant in his life?

Relationship are built on values not on sentiments and the very moment when you find yourself working so hard, struggling to make a relationship work, that's the best time to move on with your life because what you fight to keep, you must fight to sustain. 
Since he's capable of getting any lady, I think that the best option is to allow him to enjoy himself with other ladies while you focus on developing yourself and preparing yourself for your husband.
Three months is too short for these drama.

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