Monday, October 10, 2016

Is It Wrong To Know the Financial Status Of Your Partner?

Good evening ma, am so inspired by your words..
Please ma I need your advice....
I am a girl of 27 years, I met a guy early this year, at first we were good but later we started having issues.
It all started when he wanted to come and see my parents, I told my parents about him but they were against it because of his village, reason being that they don't believe in God, most believe in marine spirit because they worship water (this is what the village is known for)
instead of God though the guy in question is a believer and from a royal family. Honestly at first I was scared and worried because nobody stood by me, everyone was telling me to run, we argued about it several times.
The second issue we had was about money, ma please asking a guy who asked me to marry him if he has savings, is it bad? I was into a conservation with him when he told me that he has no money with him for the wedding and even his house rents. I suggested to him to pay his house rent first then the marriage can follow though I always tell him that I was worried because I needed a comfortable home but honestly ma from January till June that I have been with this guy, I never asked him for money and him on his own never for a day gave me money to buy one to two things for myself. I never complained because I saw the situation of things and I adapted, only for him to meet a marriage counsellor and he was told to run that I came for his money.
The third issue was that he always listens to what his siblings say before making his own decision... At the moment I don't have any of his siblings' number only for him to say that I don't want to associate with his siblings.
In any conversation that we have, I always call my mum so he saw it that the kind of person that listens to what my mum says, that I can't make decision on my own so he told me that it's over, that he is no more interested, though I have been begging him ever since then and the worse part of it is that he doesn't take my calls or chat with me.
As of last month, he called and said that a man of God asked him to have a prayer with me that I should come over to where he is based but the condition is that I will stay either in his sister's house or in my friend's house that also stays where he's based. I chose to stay in my friend's house but I never knew he wasn't comfortable with it.
What he did was to call off the prayer, still saying that I don't want to associate with his siblings only because I chose to stay in my friend's house.
I met this guy from that my friend I was to stay in her house, my friend later called him if only I accept to stay in his sister's house, he will reschedule the prayer again...
Please ma I need your candid advice.... Thank you.

I would have loved to know more about the village that according to you believes in marine spirit and as a result every individual or entity from such village must be a marine worshipper. In every community of the world, individuals worship who or what they feel is sacred to them and this has little or nothing to do with the whole community. 
Anyone that is serious about getting married must have some plans and financial savings for the marriage, he must have a place where he wish to stay with his wife no matter how little the room is, because after wedding you need food and shelter. If he feels that you came for his money, then it's obvious that he's not mentally prepared for marriage, and anyone who doesn't love you in all sincerity cannot give so there's no need expecting what is impossible. 
As regards to praying and where to say, if he was advised to run, I have no idea why he's still seeking for prayers and looking for ways to manipulate you emotionally into staying with his sister. I feel that what matters is that both of you agree to pray on your own without needing the help of any man of God or any siblings. 
Personally I feel that your partner is not emotionally and spiritually mature for the kind of commitment that you desire from him, and the earlier you give him some space to organise himself, the better for you and him.

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