Friday, October 21, 2016

My Mum Is Frustrating My Traditional Wedding Plans.

Good evening ma'am. God bless you for the good work you are doing. You are a blessing to this generation. I have written to you once.... and your advice went a long way... but seriously I need your advice and prayers .. My story is a bit lengthy.
I am heartbroken and in tears, and why it's paining me so much is that is not even coming from my man but from my mother....
Hubby did my introduction and bride price stuff around May this year. We have fixed our traditional wedding for the last Saturday of this month but the way my mum is going, everything is really making me go mad.
Firstly the list she wrote with my uncles, ma anyone that comes across that list must shout Jesus. At the end my uncles have to deny that they were not there when the list was written. At the end of the day she insisted that hubby will pay in N10000 into her account before she can release that list to him, he did that.
The one that is spoiling the whole show now is that I personally bought things for the occasion, like one bag of rice, 20 litres of groundnut oil, tin-tomatoes. My mother-in-law sells food stuffs, hubby asked her to supply anything needed for soup, then ask my mum to tell her how much she needs to complete other things that is needed... she said is N150,000. Hubby said he will give her N120,000 but she said no, if he is not ready to marry he should cancel the date. This is a man that have been supporting the family and trying to carry everybody along.
I don't want to exchange words with her, she even called my father-in-law to tell him that his son is not ready to marry, for that is like we will cancel the date. Mummy please what do you advise I should do?
Lest I forget am pregnant already... 26wks gone. If I begin to say what she is acting, it will be much.... help me ma.

If you have a brother or an uncle who understands the process and the procedures for performing traditional wedding in your community, please talk to him about this and seek for counsel from him. 
Let's start from vetting and screening the list to make sure that it reflects the custom of your community. Deciding not to talk to your mother and protect your husband from the poverty and greedy attitude that she's displaying will greatly have a negative impact on your marriage, and also have a negative perception of your personality. 
It is not your mother and your uncle that are meant to generate the traditional wedding list, rather it is your kindred and the elders in your family. 
Please do not sit down and watch your own mother paint you black to your in-laws because it won't be in your own favour.
If she refuses to allow your husband to go ahead with the traditional wedding, please cancel it and go for court marriage and white wedding. 
Your husband has already paid your bride prize which is the most important aspect of your traditional wedding, so if she feels that she's the god that everyone must worship, then you may need to consider going for court and white wedding and forget about traditional wedding. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)