Friday, October 7, 2016

Why Do Men Break-up With Me?

Dear Aunty Amy.
Good evening, how are you doing? I believe fine. Aunty please there is something that has been disturbing me, I have decided to come to you since you give the best relationship advice. I'll try my best to make my story short.
I am  20 going 21 in December. Right now I am single and I don't have any intentions of going into any relationship again because all I want to do right now is focus on completing my education and make money.
The thing is I have always prayed for a God fearing man and a man after God's heart. And most of the time any man who asks me out is always a very God fearing person who takes God seriously even very seriously I'll say, sometimes when we start going out as first they won't seem like those kind of people or person but later on they will. I am not like that type of person that talks about God all the time in the relationship or refer to God in every single thing I do or say.  In fact there is one of my ex who lived a very loose lifestyle but later repented, he became so close to God that I started calling him pastor. Another went to camp when he came back from camp I never heard from him until after three months later, throughout that period he kept on busying my calls. Recently now the one that just broke up with me went for Church camp came back told me it was over and I am not even hearing from him anymore. I am tempted to hate him but I can't hate him because he broke up with me because of God. But aunty I am truly confused, I am a simple easy going person. I know I am not perfect so if there is any way you can correct me or talk to me let me understand please ma do because I am currently frustrated. Could it be because I am too caring or could it be because of my weight because I am size 14/16. Could it be? Could it be that I act too motherly? Could it be my aura? Could it be the vibe I send out? I don't allow anything intimidate me but this time I am just so frustrated to be honest.
Sometimes I just want to live a very wayward life but I know that won't help me either. But with all this recent happenings that have got me thinking I have even lost my ways in God. I have tried my best to find God again but I feel like my spirit is just too weak. Or is there a message in all this patterns I am just so confused ma. I also want to know when Christians court what should or will it be like? Please ma direct me so that I know what to do.
Aunty I am truly frustrated please just help me. Thanks and God bless.

You're too beautiful and lovely to feel frustrated by some emotionally immature men who are yet to discover their own path in life before seeking for a partner.
I am not making this compliments up because I browsed through your profile, paid keen attention to your pictures and your status updates, had a good laugh at some of your updates.
An ebony beauty that is wonderfully made, shouldn't feel less of herself or feel confused by the way some men treats her.
You have been praying for a God fearing man, now I want you to pray for a man who have a personal relationship with God (it's entirely different from God fearing), a man who is emotionally and psychologically prepared for a purposeful relationship, and a man who is mentally mature for a commitment.
That a man left you doesn't mean that God have failed you or that you should now embrace the devil's spoil at your own peril. I will rather suggest that you embrace God and pour your heart to him, let him know how frustrated and confused that you are, and ask him to give you a man who won't abuse his grace in your life.
As you pray for your husband, please prepare yourself to be a virtuous wife, add more skills, values, and virtues to your life. Enrich yourself with inspirational and motivational books, and give your heart to your passion.
Don't let any day pass you by without adding something good and beneficial to your life. Goodness is a gateway to greatness and prosperity, so don't think that your good heart is a weakness in your life.
Don't give the devil a room to destroy your life or make you lose your confidence or your essence as a lady. You can't settle for an ordinary when God is preparing a better man for you. Remember that all things, including some disappointment and heartbreaks work together for your good.
Some men may be attracted to a slim lady while some can't do without getting married to a gorgeous and beautiful lady. God can't be wrong by creating you the way you are, all you need is to prayerfully wait and prepare for your marriage while you wait for him.
When you are in a relationship, learn to listen more, learn more, and talk less. Don't impose yourself on any man or try to control or disrespect your partner by the way you communicate with him. Learn to show courtesy to every little thing you receive from him and appreciate his personality. You can be firm with your decision without sounding like you're intimidating or demeaning his personality.
One of men's greatest weakness is ego, it's the most sacred part of a man's world, and it easily gets crushed by the slightest misunderstanding, so learn to know when to talk, when to ignore and when to suggest what you have in mind.
It's learning process, one that comes with some self discipline and self development, so be open and ask God for the grace to be a blessing to your partner and not a burden.
Courtship begins when a man has officially declared his intentions to marry a lady, that is what is called proposal. This is when intending couples prepare themselves for marriage and plan their lives together. This is also the time to open up to your partner and let him or her know any information that you know is very very important to your marriage. It's the time to find out your spiritual, emotional psychological, financial and medical compatibility.
This is not the time to experiment with sex, that he proposed marriage to you doesn't mean that he will get married to you. 
Don't shut the doors for relationship and friendship, be free, be happy, be busy with your academics and passion, and allow God to give you a man of your heart desire. Don't stop doing good or being good to others, God is still faithful to reward you for your good heart.

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