Sunday, November 13, 2016

Is My Relationship Good To Go?

Good morning ma, I am a graduate working with Nigerian prison service for about four years now and also a business woman. Actually God have been so faithful to me in life but I don't know what is wrong with me concerning marriage, because all the guys I've dated end up hurting me or playing with my emotions such that some times I feel like not to marry again. But there is this guy I met just some months about four months, since then he has been disturbing me about marriage.
He worked with army in Abuja but presently in Maiduguri, this guy wants to marry me based on what he said but I don't know any member of his family while I gave him all my sisters' number which he do call them even my younger sister that got married about three years. He have her number cos am the first born but he have not given me any of his own family's number to communicate with them even though I did not ask of it. 
We met at the bus on our way to Kaduna, I was going for promotion course while he was also going for promotion course which he spent only one week and went back to Maiduguri and since then we have not seen each other due to the nature of his job, and where he is in Maiduguri is bad because of Boko Haram so he told me and my sisters that on 3rd of December he will be coming to see my parents but I refused. 
I told him to take me to his parents first before I will take him to mine cos I know my parents, I don't want to take somebody to them that am not sure of but the problem am having is that there is one day he spent the whole of that day without calling me so I decided to call him in the evening which he told me that he was sick throughout the day. I told him anytime he is sick he should try and call or text me so I will know which he apologised, but two day now he haven't called me so I refused to call him either. 
Yesterday's night I just said let me call him only for him to tell me the same thing that he have been sick and I cut the call. Since then he have been calling I refuse to pick his call throughout last night. So this morning I decided to call and he didn't pick it, I don't know maybe he is busy at work because anytime they are going out for operation they don't go out with phone and the last time I asked him for money, he agreed to send it and told me that the following week he will ask of pass from his boss so he will go to town and withdraw money and also send to me but later the following week he told me that his boss didn't allow him because he can't go with him, that where he is dangerous and bushy. 
Anytime you're going to town you can't go alone that you go with patron team in their hillux because if you go alone Boko Haram may kill you which I just kept quiet because I don't know if it's true or he's just doesn't want to send the money to me, and actually I wasn't in need of money I just wanted to see if he will send the money or not. 
Please ma advice me, this relationship is it good to go? And regarding me taking him to my parents thanks.

It's possible that he's working in a dangerous environment and terrain, somewhere that requires adequate caution and wisdom to avoid being a victim of circumstances or being a target for the militants. 
It's also possible that he's actually not emotionally prepared for the kind of relationship that you desire or that he's already married and just using marriage to deceive or confuse you. 
Above all, four months is too short for you to drag a stranger to your family and introduce him as your husband. 
I think that the most important thing is for you to know his personality and understand who you're dealing with before presenting him to your family.
Take your time, don't be in a hurry, don't invest your emotions in the relationship, but allow time to reveal his intentions and purpose for the relationship. 
If he's serious things will definitely unfold but if he's not, you won't need anyone to inform you that he's only but a player.

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