Sunday, December 4, 2016

Should I Leave Him Forever?

Aunty Amara, am so indebted to you for lives you have touched positively. Am 31 years old, a graduate, I have an issue and I need your help please.
I had my first relationship in 2007, we were not staying in the same state, the relationship was going on smoothly till one day my cousin who lived close to my boyfriend informed me that he had a baby boy with his Ex
which he didn't tell me. When I asked him he acknowledged that it's true, that the reason why he kept it from me was that he didn't want to lose me, though I got upset and dropped the call.
After some weeks, he called and asked for forgiveness which I did, he asked me if I will accept the boy as my child, I accepted it because I love him. Ma'am, after two years, I had another information that he impregnated that same Ex of his again, and the girl gave birth to a baby girl.
I was shocked, I asked him he declined, I did my own underground research, I didn't get the truth. Some people said he was not the one, that the girl sleeps around, some said he is the one. Seriously, I had no choice than to break up with him. I went for youth service in 2014, he started calling me for us to work things out so as to settle down.
I discussed it with my close friend, she advised me to give him another chance that no one is perfect, I thought about it, he invited me to Lagos for us to talk. I asked him to come over to where I am, he came and we made up this year September. Now I found out that he has pride, he finds it so difficult to accept apology, he gets upset over nothing, he keeps malice, and he doesn't pick calls or returns calls.
Please ma'am, what should I do? Should I let him be forever? Please ma'am I need your advice, thank you.

He seems to have a thing for ladies, the question is, can you forgive him for any or every form of infidelity for the rest of your marital journey with him?
You have seen his attributes, his package, and his personality. As much as you desire to get married to a man as soon as possible, please don't ignore attitudes that you know you cannot manage for the rest of your life. 
Marriage is not a momentary experience but a lifetime journey that will have a direct impact on your personality and everyone around you. 
He has pride which means that there's a bridge between both of you which hampers communication, he finds it so difficult to accept an apology, that is to say that he will never apologise for anything he does, he gets upset over nothing, a recipe for physical or emotional abuse, and with malice, you must be mentally prepared to manage his emotions to avoid breaking down. 
I won't tell you what to do, but please do not ignore those things that you can't cope with, especially when you're considering who to spend the rest of your life with.

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