Friday, December 16, 2016

The Meaning of Marriage

Ruth 1:16-18
But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to turn back from following you. For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you stay, I will stay. Your people shall be my people and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord do thus to me, and worse, if anything but death separates you and me!” When Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more to her.

If you are getting married with any mindset other than this, you are bound to fail or remain unhappy in your home. It's sad seeing what this generation has made marriage to become. It's worse seeing religious leaders, all in the name of exercising faith, tell people that marriage is only "in health and riches". According to them it's a proclamation of faith. But I want to let you know today that proclamation of faith and taking of vow are two different things. That vow simply tells your spouse that come rain, come shine, you are with him or her. And don't be fooled; even Jesus told us that in this world, we shall have tribulations.

This is the mistake gospel preachers often make, telling new converts that life will become sweet because they came to Christ. The truth of the gospel is that it gets tougher when you are in Christ, but the only difference is that you have so much peace in the middle of that fire. Life is about ups and downs and so whether you say that vow or not, gloomy days will come.

A good number of people now go into marriage prepared for battle; they map out strategies to effectively carry out their plans against in-laws and spouse even before the marriage proper. My dear ladies, please run away from those friends encouraging you to be mean to your in-laws. Some go the extent of praying for their mother-in-law to be dead. As you are

busy praying against your husband's mother, another woman is somewhere praying against your own mother (what goes around comes around). And if you truly love your husband, you wouldn't pray for what will cause him pain.

The moment you agree to marry that man, you have agreed to marry his mess, his past, his future, and his entire lineage. If you decide to marry her, you are married to her past, present, and future. There shouldn't be unnecessary family interference in marriage, couples should be allowed to live their lives in peace. But, you must love and accept the family of your spouse.

Marriage is more than what we take it to be. Marriage is not a business partnership. You are not married to him until you embrace everything about him-his food, culture, family, and language. You are Igbo and married to Hausa, have you tried to learn his/her language? Have you tried to learn how to prepare his local delicacies? Do you love wearing what his/her people wear?

Sir, you are married to your wife but you believe her family should stay away from you. You don't even know how her aged parents eat; you care less if their roof is leaking; you are married to their daughter and not them, you are yet to be married. Going through all your possessions, there is nothing to show that you are married to her; your brother is still your next of kin; instead of your wife going to the market and keeping the little change with her, you send your sister who is free to play around with your money; you are one but once it comes to money and material things, you become an individual...what a shame!

You are married to that person but ready to abandon him/her once tough time comes. It is not in health and riches... No one prays for evil, but we don't know tomorrow. Your ability to stand by that person come rain come shine shows the extent of your love for him or her. Love is not in the talking, it's in the doing.
 Let us drop this whole mentality of marriage of convenience-"I won't love him if he doesn't have six packs and his account is not loaded"; "I won't love her if she doesn't have those straight legs, the curves, and lovely eyes".

People keep shouting that men/women are bad but oftentimes, we see fire and jump into it with our clear eyes because we are carried away by beauty, fame, or money only for us to turn around sowing seeds of bitterness in hearts of vulnerable people, telling them that there is nothing good about the opposite sex. Shut up please and face the fire you got into out of greed and selfishness!

Marriage remains the most beautiful institution on earth and as you make your bed, so you lie on it. If you decide to go into your marriage the way of today's world, it's up to you, just be ready to take the "had I known" that will come with it. But if you choose to go the way of our Creator, you will be among the few that are happy and fulfilled in their home.

Ladies, refuse to be a "happening babe" in marriage. Guys, carrying that "fine boy" or "big boy" into your home can only ruin the peace in your home. Watch our high society guys; a good number of their wives are in misery.

What is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God, love and respect your spouse the same way you want to be loved and respected. If you want him or her to love your relatives, please love and accept your in-laws. If you want to be respected by your daughter-in-law, make sure you respect and love your mother-in-law today.


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