Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Where Should I Run To?

Thank you ma, I got married to my husband three years ago, and we have two kids a boy and a girl. When I was pregnant for my girl, my husband beats me up for no reason, just because we had our son's birthday and I begged him to do the cooking by myself so that he will not spend more money because I believe he had spent enough already, he refused but later accepted, so prepared the food with the help of my friends.

So after the birthday party, around 2:30am, he came to me and woke me from sleep, (I was four months pregnant then) and asked me to give him all the money people gave to me during the party, so I gave him the money, so I lie to sleep because I was very tired, he beat me on my leg shouting that I should join him in arranging and counting of the money, so I told him that am tired, that he should leave the money till morning so that we can do it together, but he refused, he started beating me, shouting that I must join him, so I was like what is all these? What type of devil is this?
And he started beating me, shouting that I called him devil, so I ran outside to hold myself when the beating was too much for me, but he still came and met me there and beat me up. He called me all sort of names, he opened his mouth and said that I will die though childbirth, but thank God I didn't die, so after everything will beg me to forgive him.
Aunty this is not the first time he will beat me up o, but I have no choice, because I have no mother or anyone to run to. I have no money because I have been doing nothing since I married him. He said that I should finish giving birth before he can allow me to work, I am not a graduate so I don't even know where to start.
Before I got married to him, he promised to send me back to school but that he refused to fulfill. Anytime I remind him about my school, he will start saying another thing. There was a day I remained him about my music career, he opened his mouth and said that I should forget about it, that I can only be a musician in my next life.
The problem is that I hate him, I feel like running away! I hate him, the first day he asked me to kneel down and raise up my hands for just no reason, he abuses me physically, emotionally etc. Is not everything I can write ma. I have no love, feelings for this man! I hate seeing him coming close to me, he irritates me. Now he want me to get pregnant for him again, which I refused to, because he doesn't worth a drop of my blood.
Please aunty, I want to run away with my kids, but I have nowhere or anyone to run to, he told me that if I didn't leave his house when am alive, that I will leave when am dead, please I don't want to die young, please help!
There was a day he was beating me in front of my son (2 years old), my son was crying, instead of him to stop, he asked my son to beat me too, my son refused but he forced him to beat me, so when my son started beating me, he asked him to spit on me, my son spit on me, he asked him to call me witch which the innocent boy did. I am so helpless.

You have a choice, I refuse to accept that you don't have a choice here, you certainly do. No matter the excuses you may have why you feel that you should remain in that death trap called marriage, you have a choice to either leave and live or stay and put your life in danger.
Even if it means begging your church to accommodate you or reporting him to the welfare or law enforcement agencies, you can do something different from subjecting your life and safety to a man who is out to destroy your life and essence of being.
Please I will suggest that you consider leaving him to your family, start up something and build from somewhere. It's better for you to leave than for you to lose your life in the hands of your husband.
While you're with him, I will suggest that you don't fight with him, or challenge his personality. If he wants sex, kindly give him sex, and avoid anything that will lead to physical confrontation.
Please choose life now that you have the privilege to do so to avoid losing your life while trying to save a failed marriage.

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