Saturday, January 14, 2017

Do I Lack Wife Attributes?

Hi, please I need your advise.
I started dating a guy I met through my sister last July, a distant relationship, he had a 9 years old son though. We were good till he told me about a lady that claimed to be pregnant for him around September. It didn't go down well with me, he apologised and we moved on.
I decided to visit at the end of October even though I never told him I was coming, unfortunately he was not in town but directed me on how to get to his house.
Two days later after the son had gone to school, a young woman in her early 20's came to the house looking for him, I told her I was alone. She asked if I was the guy's brother, I never answered, unknown to me she had called my guy to ask same question.
He told me she asked him and he told her I am his fiance. I found out he had slept with the girl, she comes to spend days in the house, she cooks etc though he claimed nothing was going on, that she seduced him. I was angry that I had headache and didn't cook. She calls him often and if am around, he tells me to pick the call and scold the girl which I never did.
Few days after I left, he told me the girl said she was pregnant and I told him to take her for a test, he did and it was negative but he said the girl pleaded with the lab person to falsify the result to positive, that she wants him to marry her.
After the drama, he claimed to still want me, I requested that she should stop coming to the house. He promised that, but funny enough I went back in the middle of November to find out she came around on Sunday, cooked for them and left on Tuesday morning, probably because he told her I was coming.
When I got to the house, he told me she made the stew when I asked, I was angry and didn't eat the stew.
He pleaded for forgiveness which I did but didn't eat the same stew made by the girl. Since then he now saw me as a proud person. He told my sister that I have ego, I refused to cook and starved his son which I never did because the other time that I didn't cook, he ate the left over rice that night and there was tea and bread for my guy.He told me he doesn't love me anymore, that I lack wife character.
I thought it was a joke because I didn't see anything I have done to warrant that. I complained to the aunt that I know, she kept telling me she will talk to him. I noticed he has started to change, the second time I went, I thought it was because I refused to have sex with him because he had told me that was why he was cheating.
I apologized after he had gone to cook stories for my sis and everyone saw me as the problem.
I went to celebrate his birthday with him, we made love. He made me believe we are good even though he claimed to have a casual friend, that I made him draw more closer though no sex he claimed. He tells everyone, my sister, his aunt, that we are good but I now make most of the calling.
Just around 7:30 I sent him a text to call me that I have not seen my flow but till now, but he never did. Please advise me on what to do. I am not pregnant though. Thanks

Assuming that you were already married to him, can you really cope with a man who has so many girlfriends, sorry many girls that love him?
Are you sure that you can cope with a man who will always go to the hospital to be sure that a lady is not pregnant for him?
I am not doubting that you love him, but I'm really worried why you seem not to love yourself as much as you love this man, and why you seem not to be honest to yourself.
A man who changes girls like he changes boxers, a man who seems to be confused and doesn't seem to know what he wants, and a man who treats you as an option is not the kind of man you need, but what do I even know.
You're the one who knows what you need in your man, so if you feel that he's the best for you, please be patient with him and also pray that God will give you the heart of love to love him more.
Let's hope that you're not pregnant, maybe you should save yourself from the drama of being a baby mama number two by closing your legs if it's possible for you. This love that's in your eyes will clear when you get pregnant for him, then you will realise his real feelings for you.
If after cooking, visiting, forgiving, and sleeping with him you still don't have the qualities of a wife material, it's obvious that his own material is not in you, but I maybe wrong though.


  1. Please don't see this as an abuse but it occurs to me are do myopic.This is not love but playing a blind game that you'll regret soonest.

  2. Sorry,"it occurs to me that you are myopic".Thanks.

  3. Life can be so simple, why do we love so much drama. My dear, many women have been there. LEAVE, forget abt what u hv put in to mk it work. There's always more bliss out there


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